Discovering Love--A Jisol Fic
by SuperBaekTrash
Summary: Young Chwe Hansol finds himself becoming attracted to the school's sweetheart, the Gentleman, Joshua Hong. Joshua Hong, the school's openly gay sweetheart finds himself becoming attracted to the school's dreamboat, Chwe Hansol. As fate pushes them together, will they finally admit their feelings for one another?
1. Auditions

There always are those kinds of people that everyone wants to be—they live the dream life; they own everything, their face looks like it was sculpted by the gods, their style is always on point, their smile was blinding, by being in their presence you felt special. That was Joshua and Hansol. The two heartthrobs of the school, but despite both having the same godly aura, they were both very different. For one, Joshua had the sweet guy thing going, and Hansol had the cool guy thing going. Hansol was loved but envied at the same time, he always hung out with the same close-knit circle consisting of Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Seungcheol; he was always the topic of conversation but he was never _in_ any of those conversations. Joshua on the other hand, loved everyone—and everyone loved him; he was the person you'd go to cheer up your day even if you barely knew him. Joshua was the kind of person that would apologize to a tree for bumping into it—hence his nickname " _the gentleman_ ". But the two boys never had to compete, no one wanted one more than the other.

They were the two most popular boys of the school but they were popular in a different way.

Hansol awoke to pounding on his door at what must've been 8 in the morning on a Saturday.

"Yo _Vernon_ wake up!" Mingyu shouted from the other side of the door.

 _What the hell is Mingyu doing in my house?_

Hansol replied with a muffled " _Five more minutes_ " His head was about to hit the pillow again when his bedroom door swung open and three people walked in—Seungcheol, Wonwoo, and Mingyu to be exact—settling themselves on his bed and couch.

Hansol blinked his eyes open and looked up at Mingyu sitting at the edge of his bed. "Did you forget?"

"Forget what?" Hansol muttered, still half asleep.

"Auditions?" Seungcheol said from his seat on the couch.

Hansol shot up, bumping foreheads with Mingyu. " _Shit_. Did they start already?"

"No, because luckily you have three friends who know you very well and figured you would've overslept so they came to wake you up," Seungcheol said.

Hansol sighed and laid back down. "Thanks guys."

"Don't lay back down, get up," Mingyu said, shoving Hansol over.

"Fine, fine, now get out," Hansol said and went to get dressed as his friends were walking out of his room.

Joshua practiced his song for the tenth time, just to make sure he really knew it by heart, but of course he did, he'd been practicing it for months. He could've played the guitar and sung blindfolded and deaf; the song was party of him.

He'd arrived at the music room an hour early to practice so he wouldn't wake up his roommates and now it was slowly filling up with students, all anxious and nervous for their auditions. Joshua put away his guitar and took out his sheet music, looking over the lyrics for what felt like the millionth time in his life, but it never hurt to be prepared.

The room got quieter for a second and Joshua looked up from his papers to see what had caused the sudden silence but he was already expecting what he saw.

Chwe Hansol, the dreamboat of every girl that walked the halls. His hair was a bit tousled which suggested he'd just gotten out of bed and his eyes were not quite fully open.

Looking around the room, Joshua could see every girl swooning over him—and although he wouldn't admit to anyone, he had to contain himself from swooning too. His eyes met briefly with Hansol's before he sat down on the other side of the room.

Wonwoo gave Hansol a slap on the back. "Don't stress over it, Hansol, we'll do great."

"I know, I know, but still. There's like 50 people auditioning and only 20 will make it to the contest, that means _30_ people will get cut," Hansol said.

"Hansol, _don't stress over it_ ," Wonwoo repeated.

That didn't stop Hansol's hands from shaking.

What did calm him, however, was the small glimpses of Joshua Hong that he was able to get. Sometimes he'd be playing his guitar—which Hansol could faintly hear over the loud talking inside the music room—other times he'd be looking at some papers—sheet music Hansol would've guessed—other times he'd find Joshua looking back at him, in which cases Hansol would quickly look away.

"Hansol. _Hansol_? Earth to Chwe Hansol," Seungcheol was saying.

He snapped his head back to the group. "Yes?"

"There's three people in front of us," Seungcheol said.

Hansol checked the time on his phone.

 _9:48_

They'd been waiting almost an hour.

"Do you guys want to run it one more time?" Wonwoo asked.

"Yeah—" Seungcheol paused to look down at his phone. He smiled at what he saw on his screen and mumbled and apology and went out of the music room.

The remaining three all looked at each other and mumbled, " _Jeonghan_ ".

Seungcheol stumbled back inside looking flustered right as the person behind them was called. Wonwoo, Mingyu, and Hansol all wiggled their eyebrows.

"Shut up," Seungcheol said, trying to stop blushing.

Joshua was one of the last to be called despite being one of the first to sign up and arrive to the school. His nerves were still getting the best of him but he managed to get through his audition with only minor hiccups. As he was leaving the room his choir teacher gave him and encouraging smile that made him feel more confident about his audition.

Now came the worst part.

Waiting.

The results would be posted in one week, and during that week all the students could do was wait.

Joshua tried not to think about it as he went home on Saturday, returning to a lively house of four boys running around preparing breakfast, putting clothes in the laundry, taking a shower, singing, dancing.

"I'm back," he announced coming into the kitchen.

"How was it?" Jeonghan asked as he prepared coffee.

"I did good…I think," Joshua replied.

"Bullshit, you must've done amazing! I heard you practicing like a _bajillion_ times Joshua," Seungkwan said, coming into the kitchen.

Joshua smiled at the compliment.

"Who wants pancakes?" Jeonghan asked, setting a plate down on the counter.

"Oo oo, me," Seungkwan squeaked, running over to the pile of fluffy pancakes.

"So American of you, Jeonghan," Joshua said.

"Well, we're celebrating our American roommate after all," Jeonghan said.

"You didn't need to Jeonghan," Joshua said, ever the humble one.

"Yes, I did. You totally nailed that audition and that, hyung, is cause for celebration. Now go get Jihoon and Seokmin, Seungkwan, so that we can have a nice 'family' breakfast."


	2. Private Thoughts

Vernon woke up to the sound of his extremely loud alarm and began getting ready for school. The rest of the house was already up and running, Hansol being the last one to wake up. He didn't understand how he was the only one in his family that was in no way, shape, or form, a morning person.

He still felt like shit from the day before when he'd woken up after the regrettable partying he and the boys had done—Mingyu had claimed they were "celebrating" right before he'd drained his parents' entire liquor cabinet.

Hansol couldn't help but join them in their celebrating; he'd been proud of his audition—but maybe not enough to drink half a bottle of vodka by himself. He was confident they would all make the cut and would compete at the Seoul Contest of Artists.

Hansol picked out clothes that matched what he felt like—black ripped jeans and an oversized red hoodie.

Throwing the hood over his head, Hansol grabbed an apple off of the kitchen counter and headed for the garage, only to be stopped short by a yank on his shoulder.

"Can you drive me to school?" his sister, Sophia, asked.

"I thought your friends promised to give you a ride this school year," Hansol said.

"Well, they have different schedules sometimes," Sophia said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Then just ask mom," Hansol said, turning back around.

Sophia ran in front of him. "Come on Hansol, _please_ , just today."

Hansol rolled his eyes. The real reason he didn't want to take Sophia was because every morning he sat in his car and waited for a certain someone to walk into the school.

" _Please_ Hansol?" Sophia begged.

Hansol sighed. "Fine, but only today. Find another ride until you make up with your friends."

"We didn't—"

"Oh please, I heard you yelling on the phone all the way from my room."

Joshua arrived at 7:45 as usual, only today the black Mercedes has saw everyday wasn't there waiting for him. He tried not to let his disappointment show but he couldn't deny that he'd started looking forward to seeing Chwe Hansol hidden in his car every morning watching him go into the school, even though Joshua was sure he wasn't supposed to know.

Joshua chatted with the crowd that had formed around his locker before school started, until he heard the other students go quiet; Hansol had arrived. Joshua turned to watch the grand entrance; Hansol made the casual look he was wearing so cool and effortless—but Joshua doubted he'd actually put effort into his outfit so it was _quite_ _literally_ effortless.

Joshua had been finding himself spending too much time thinking about Chwe Hansol, a boy who was very much straight and would probably never even _consider_ dating Joshua. It was all just time wasted, but he kept wasting it.

Hansol wasn't surprised that Seungcheol and the other two hadn't made it to school yet, so he walked down the hall by himself, getting a glimpse of an all-too-familiar smile in his peripheral vision. He reached his locker and turned the lock around. As soon as he opened the door, a small pink note fell out. He rolled his eyes internally. Another girl asking him out on a date.

 _Who is it this time?_ He wondered.

It was from some girl named Joy, claiming to have been in his Algebra some years back.

There was some kind of poem or song lyric in the note—at least the girl knew what he liked—but the rest was just bullshit. Something about her wanting to catch a movie or what not.

Not wanting to be so obvious that he was going to reject her, Hansol just tucked the note in his pocket and grabbed what he needed from his locker, not wanting to read any more ridiculous notes.

"I heard about the note in your locker," Mingyu said as he sat next to Hansol in History. "Who was the lucky girl?"

"Some chick named Joy," Hansol replied, surprised he even remembered her name.

"So are you going to say yes?" Mingyu asked.

Hansol shook his head.

"Why man? You've been single for two like two weeks, you need to go out with someone."

Hansol shrugged. It's not that he didn't want to go out, he just didn't want to go out with some random chick named _Joy_. He had someone in mind. That someone was Joshua Hong.

And it wasn't like he was afraid to come out as gay, hate was the last thing he was going to get for it, after all, Joshua was the school's sweetheart and he was openly gay—his _best friend_ was gay.

But it was Joshua, the boys' heartthrobs, the Gentleman, the perfect student, almost everything Hansol wasn't.

And there was also the matter that Joshua would never want him.

At lunch, Hansol, Mingyu, and Wonwoo met up and sat at their usual table, Seungcheol had muttered some random excuse about having to study—which was also code for _Jeonghan_ —and ditched them.

"He's been spending an awful lot of time with Jeonghan lately…" Hansol muttered.

"Tell me about it…" Wonwoo muttered.

"Do you think they _sealed the deal_ yet?" Mingyu asked, ever the one to ask the unwanted questions.

"Mingyu-ah why do you always ask things like that?" Hansol said.

"I'm just curious…" Mingyu said.

"I don't think they have…" Wonwoo said. "People act different after they've had sex."

"Did you _have_ to answer?" Hansol said.

Wonwoo shrugged. "He was asking a question…"

"How about we not talk about Seungcheol-hyung's sex life anyone?" Hansol suggested.

"Okay then, let's talk about _your_ sex life," Mingyu said.

"Let's not."

"See, it's much better talking about others' sex life than your own," Mingyu said.

He went one, but Hansol sighed and let his eyes drift elsewhere. They drifted where they always did. Joshua.

He was laughing and sharing a joke with his friends, looking so at peace. It reminded Hansol of when they saw each other at the little cafe where Joshua worked. He remembered going there every Saturday morning with his girlfriend and every time Joshua would be the one to take and prepare their order. Amy never noticed it but Hansol would always stare at Joshua when he wasn't looking, which meant mostly his back but Hansol didn't mind. He didn't know of it was over time or just out of the blues but every time he would see Joshua his heart would skip a few beats. At first, he didn't know what it meant but by the time he broke up with Amy he was almost sure it was because of Joshua Hong.

Joshua went to the music room during study hall to play his guitar for a while. He picked up a guitar and ran his fingers through the strings. The soft sound calmed his mind—which was spinning like crazy awaiting the results of the auditions.

His mind unconsciously went to Hansol, wondering how he was dealing with the wait. But then he really stopped to think and realized that he didn't even know what Hansol had auditioned with; he'd heard rumors that him and his friends rapped but he'd never seen them before.

 _Why did he keep thinking about Hansol?_

Maybe it was because he hadn't seen Hansol at the cafe Saturday morning because of auditions. He missed their little sessions in the morning when he'd take Hansol's order—even though he knew it by heart, medium Iced Carmel Macchiato—and then he'd prepare it, stealing glances of Hansol when he could.

But then he'd make Hansol's girlfriend's drink—an Iced Americano with cinnamon? vanilla? —he couldn't remember.

The two would sit down at a table—which Joshua could see perfectly from the counter—and cuddle until they finished their drinks. It was when that inner part of his mind reminded him _he's straight, remember?_

Some noise from the music room snapped Joshua out of his thoughts. When he looked up, someone was coming into the music room.

Chwe Hansol.


	3. Hidden Talents

"I-I'm sorry I-I didn't know someone was in here," Hansol stuttered.

"You're fine," Joshua said, "I was finished anyways." Joshua put the guitar in its place.

"You play really well," Hansol said, "the guitar, I mean."

"Thank you," Joshua replied, trying to suppress a blush; seeing Hansol stutter was so adorable. "What do you do? I saw you in here for auditions."

"I rap." So the rumors were true.

"Can you rap something for me?" Joshua shouldn't've have asked but he couldn't stop himself.

"Um-I-I'm not really good with freestyle."

"You write your own lyrics?"

Hansol nodded. "Yeah, my friends and I do."

"That's nice." The room grew stuffy as the two boys ran out of small talk.

Joshua broke the silence, "Well, I'll leave you to it. I hope you make the cut." He waved Hansol a quick good bye and made his way out of the room.

 _Joshua did things to him_.

His cheeks were burning and his tongue felt like it'd been tied into a million knots. If Joshua didn't think he liked him then, he did now. _God, he'd made a fool of himself_.

He wanted to erase what had just happened; grabbing a guitar off of its stand, he began to play. He loosened his fingers and let them move on their own accord, running through the familiar pattern of the one song he could play even blindfolded, Black Birds by The Beatles. Bad memories were attached to the song but he'd never stopped playing it. He wasn't a good singer either but alone in the music room he allowed himself to at least try.

His pitch was off on a few notes but he kept going.

He could still remember the judges' faces from the day he performed Black Birds—he barely remembered what they said only that it was bad—but their faces were perfectly clear in his mind. He'd cried himself to sleep that night and he swore he would never sing in front of anyone again—hence his rapping. Seungcheol would often tell him to sing the chorus of their songs but he'd always turn him down and let Mingyu sing the chorus.

As he neared the end of the song he felt tears falling from his eyes. Thinking about that day was making him feel the hurt all over again. He wiped the tears away quickly and set the guitar back down.

He grabbed his things and rushed to his next class before he was late.

Joshua felt that he'd intruded on such a private moment; he hadn't meant to but the moment he heard the guitar his feet became glued to the floor. He would've never imagined Hansol could play the guitar, much less sing.

He peeked inside the door once the music stopped; Hansol was wiping tears from his eyes. Joshua was filled with guilt. He _knew_ Hansol hadn't meant for anyone to see _that_. He scrambled away from the door when he saw Hansol set the guitar down and hurried to his next class before Hansol could notice him.

For the rest of the day all he could think about was Hansol singing, his voice was so infatuating—he even found himself humming Black Birds on the way home.

"Something's got you in a good mood," Jihoon murmured as Joshua walked into the kitchen, humming and smiling.

Joshua shrugged.

"Whatever it is, I won't ruin it, but Jeonghan said he'll be gone tonight," Jihoon said.

"Out with his boyfriend?" Joshua asked.

"Yeah, he said something about 'tonight being the night'."

"I did not need to know that…"

"Let's have a game night!" Seungkwan announced excitedly as he entered the kitchen. "Jeonghan always cheats."

Joshua chuckled. "So do you, Seungkwan."

"Yeah but you call me out for it," Seungkwan pouted, "you always look the other way for Jeonghan."

"You know how Jeonghan is..." Jihoon said.

"Everyone calls him the Angel but we all know he's a little devil," Joshua said.

"It makes me wonder how he is with his boyfriend…" Jihoon said.

" _Jihoon_!" Joshua and Seungkwan both cried.

Jihoon chuckled. "Sorry, I'm just curious…"

"What are we talking about?" Seokmin asked coming into the kitchen.

"Nothing," Seungkwan said before Jihoon could speak. "Seokmin, tell them we should have a game night since Jeonghan isn't here."

"Ooo, is he with his _boyfriend_?" Seokmin said wiggling his eyebrows.

"You two are disgusting," Seungkwan said.

"Let's not talk about Jeonghan and his boyfriend anymore…" Joshua said.

"Great idea Jisoo," Seungkwan said. "So, about that game night…"

"Where's Seungcheol?" Hansol asked.

Wonwoo and Mingyu glanced at each other across the table.

"He's _with his boyfriend_ …" Mingyu said.

Hansol got the underlying message. " _Oh_."

An awkward silence passed.

"So… Wonwoo, you said you had an idea for a new song?" Hansol said.

Wonwoo took a sip from his milkshake. "Yeah, we could perform it at the SCA—if we make the cut of course," he said. He dug in his bag and took out some sheets of paper. "I've been jotting down a bunch of random verses."

Hansol took the sheet and looked it over. Typical of Wonwoo for the lyrics to be deep and meaningful. Of the "random verses" the Wonwoo had written down everything was brilliant.

"Wonwoo, this is great," Hansol said.

"Right?" Mingyu said.

"We can each write our own verses like usual but—" Wonwoo stopped abruptly, taking a quick breath.

"You good?" Hansol asked.

Wonwoo nodded. "I'm fine," he said, and gave Mingyu a light shove, who looked to be hiding a chuckle. "Anyway, we'll each write our own verses but these are just some ideas."

Mingyu let out an " _Ow_!" out of nowhere.

"Is everything okay?" Hansol asked again. Something was definitely going.

"No, everything's fine," Wonwoo assured him.

Hansol handed Wonwoo back the sheets just as the waiter set down their food.

"Enjoy," she said, winking at Hansol.

He rolled his eyes and tucked his hood over his head.

"Wow," Mingyu said, "girls almost literally _swoon_ over you."

" _Shut up_ ," Hansol said. He didn't feel like talking about girls _swooning_ over him.

Wonwoo shook his head slightly in Mingyu's direction, a silent warning to not push Hansol.

But obviously he ignored it. "What is with _you_ , Hansol? Every time I bring up a girl you shut down, like it makes you depressed or something."

Hansol stared at the table. "I just don't want to talk about dating and going out and stuff."

"Why? Do you like someone?"

"Mingyu that's enough, leave Hansol alone," Wonwoo intervened.

This time Mingyu stayed quiet.

Hansol drove home in silence. People were going to start getting suspicious—Mingyu already was—he would either have to come up with an excuse or finally tell the truth—which was close to impossible.

He debated calling the girl that had left him the note and maybe take her up on her offer, but he didn't want to get caught a lie.

Ignoring the presence in the living room, Hansol went straight to his room, slamming the door behind him.

He crashed on his bed face down and focused on muting the world around him. His parents must have someone over for there to have been so much talking downstairs. He grabbed his earbuds out of his pocket and hit the play button not caring what song was on. It was Drake—he wasn't surprised.

He was slowly falling asleep when he suddenly felt someone hit him on the back of his thighs. He yanked his earbuds out and turned around to see who was in his room.

"Mom's telling you to go downstairs, we have guests over—and change your clothes, you have a ketchup stain on your hoodie," Sophia said and walked out of his room, leaving the door open.

He was tempted to lie back down but he wasn't in the mood to get yelled at by his parents.

He shrugged off his hoodie and put on a different red jacket—plaid this time.

He sighed and went downstairs.

"Here's our son Hansol," his mother said in English when he neared the living room. His heart nearly stopped at what his mother said to him. "Hansol, you know Joshua Hong, right? He goes to your school."


	4. Harmonizing

Hansol could barely bring himself to move.

"Hi Hansol," Joshua said said in English.

"He-Hey Joshua," Hansol replied. _Goddamnit he was still stuttering_.

"Joshua was born in Los Angeles, Hansol. Did you know that?" his mom said. He hadn't known it. "He still speaks English fluently."

"I didn't know that," Hansol managed to say without stuttering.

Joshua shrugged. "I guess it never came up."

"Hansol why don't you and Joshua go up to your room while his parents and I talk?" his mom said.

"Sure, come on," Hansol said, still speaking in English.

Joshua followed him to his room. "Should I close the door?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Hansol said, suddenly uncomfortable in his own room. "Sit anywhere you want."

Joshua took a seat on his couch and Hansol sat at his desk.

"Do you produce your own music?" Joshua asked eyeing his computer setup.

"Sometimes, but I'm not that good." He couldn't believe he was having an actual conversation with Joshua Hong. In his room.

"I have a friend that produces music, if you ever need help I could send you his way," Joshua said.

"Thanks."

"So what are you doing for SCA?" Hansol wanted to keep the conversation going, he wanted to hear Joshua talk. His voice was so sweet and melodious.

"I'm doing an original song and playing the guitar," Joshua said. His eyes caught the guitar on the other side of the bed. "You play the guitar too?"

Hansol shrugged. "When I feel like it." He was finding it surprisingly easy to talk to Joshua.

"Will you play something for me?"

Joshua wanted to hear Hansol sing again. He knew the likelihood of Hansol singing in front of him was slim but he couldn't waste an opportunity when it was presented to him.

Hansol didn't answer right away. "I-I guess, but I'm not that good."

He walked around the bed and grabbed the guitar.

"What do you want me to play?"

"Whatever you're most confident in."

Hansol's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. "Alright." He positioned the guitar comfortably on his lap and held the pick in his fingers. He took a deep breath before strumming the strings.

Joshua found himself swaying along with the music.

It ended all too soon.

"Can you play another one? _Please_."

The corner of Hansol's mouth quirked up—in a way that was so cute. "Sure."

"Do you sing?"

The smile faded. "N-no I-I can't—don't—sing."

Joshua decided not to push him.

"Why don't you sing?" Hansol asked.

Joshua smiled. "Sure."

"Stitches by Shawn Mendes?"

"Yeah, I love that song."

Hansol set down the pick and began playing with his fingers.

Hansol could barely focus on the guitar when all he could hear was Joshua's angelic voice. It was so soft and soothing, he could fall asleep just listening to it. He would steal small glances of Joshua while he played, causing him to mess up a few notes—hopefully Joshua hadn't noticed.

Hansol was sad when the song ended and Joshua stopped singing.

"You're a really good singer," Hansol said.

Joshua blushed lightly. "Thank you. What do you mean you're not that good? You're amazing."

It was Hansol's turn to flush. He hoped it wasn't too obvious. "Thanks."

There was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Sweetie, can I come in?" Hansol's mom called from the other side.

"Yeah," Hansol replied.

"You two sound great together," his mother said.

"Thank you Mrs. Chwe," Joshua said.

"Did you audition for SCA too?"

"Yes."

"Hansol, you two could work together."

Hansol forced himself to smile. "Yeah, of course."

"Alright, well, Joshua your parents are calling you," his mother said.

Joshua nodded and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow Hansol?"

Hansol nodded. "Yeah, I'll see you."

Maybe it was because he'd been playing the guitar for Joshua, or only because he felt like it, but Hansol couldn't set his guitar down. He ran through all of the songs he knew the best, perfecting little mistakes he made. He would've played until sunrise if his sister hadn't knocked on his door a while past two in the morning and "kindly" told him to stop playing.

The next day he woke up to someone banging on his door while yelling, " _HANSOL GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!_ " _Sophia, of course._

He scrambled out of bed looking for his phone—it was dead.

 _7:56_ read the time on his computer.

He'd missed Joshua again—and he was late, _very_ late.

He threw on the first thing he saw not caring if it matched and grabbed his bag.

"You're driving me to school again," Sophia said, trailing behind him on his way to the garage.

"No I'm not—I'm late," Hansol said.

"Well maybe you shouldn't've stayed up so late," Sophia said. "You're driving me to school, Mom said you have to."

"Why can't Mom drive you?" Hansol said, stopping short and turning around to face his sister—who almost crashed into his chest.

"Because mom went out, don't ask where," Sophia explained.

"Well catch a bus or something, I can't drive you," Hansol said, turning back around.

" _Chwe Hansol Vernon_ , you're driving me to school."

Hansol couldn't have rolled his eyes hard enough. "Fine, but you're paying me 20000 Won."

"What? No way!"

"Then you're staying behind," Hansol said, opening the door to his Mercedes.

Sophia stomped her foot in frustration. "Fine." She handed Hansol the 20000 Won as she entered his car and he drove her to school.

The black Mercedes wasn't there again and Joshua thought maybe Hansol had begun parking somewhere else.

He didn't dally in the hallways, just got what he needed from his locker and headed to his first period.

"May I please have your attention students," the principle said over the intercom. His classroom grew quiet. "Attention students that auditioned for the Seoul Contest of Artists." Joshua stopped what he was doing and listened. "The audition cuts will be posted this Friday instead of Monday on the music room doors at 7:30 a.m. Thank you for your attention."

Joshua didn't know whether to be relieved or even more anxious. He rubbed his palms on his pants to keep them from sweating.

Joshua met up with Seungkwan, Seokmin, and Jihoon at lunch, with the notable absence of Jeonghan.

"Gosh those two can't get a break from each other…" Jihoon muttered, not having to mention any names.

"Can we not talk about our roommate's sex life please?" Joshua said.

"I only meant them spending a lot of time with each other but if you want to go as far as to imply that they won't stop fucking, okay then," Jihoon said casually as he stirred his yogurt.

" _Jihoon_!" Joshua cried in outrage, his sandwich halfway to his mouth.

Jihoon shrugged. "You were the one that brought it up."

Joshua sighed while Seokmin and Seungkwan tried to hide their chuckles.

"So results are coming out early?" Seungkwan said.

Joshua took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Are you nervous?" Seokmin asked.

"How couldn't I be?" Joshua said rubbing his hands on his pants again.

"Sorry, stupid question…"

"It's fine."

"Where'd you go yesterday? You didn't come home until late—and you weren't at work," Seungkwan said.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you guys, my parents came from LA to surprise me," Joshua said.

"How sweet," Seokmin said. "Are we going to get to meet them?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about all of us having a dinner at our place tonight."

"Ooo ooo Seokmin and I can grab dakgangjeong from that restaurant down the street!" Seungkwan said excitedly.

"Thanks Seungkwan," Joshua said with a smile towards his friend.

Joshua had to swallow his sandwich when he realized they only had a few more minutes left of lunch.

He waved a goodbye to his friends. "I'll see you guys later."

"See you Joshua," they replied.


	5. Talk of Love

"Dude, you missed out," Mingyu said when Hansol took a seat next to him, ignoring the curious stares he was receiving from his classmates as he walked in late.

"What'd I miss?" Hansol asked.

"They're posting the results on Friday instead of Monday," Mingyu said.

"That's good, right?" Hansol asked, unsure of what he should feel.

"Hell yeah it's good!" Mingyu said, "That means we don't have to party on a school night when we find out we made it."

 _Or didn't make it_ , Hansol thought.

"I already made reservations at that one fancy bar, _Fazzano,_ " Mingyu continued, "I know what you're thinking Hansol, what if we don't make it? What's the difference? We'll drink ourselves into oblivion anyway," he said slapping Hansol's back. "We win either way."

"I guess…"

"Joshua," Seungkwan began, "I think your parents think I'm weird."

"Everyone thinks you're weird, Seungkwan," Jihoon said.

Joshua looked up from his textbook—he was cramming a few more minutes of studying before they headed for school. "What? Oh—no, Seungkwan they liked you, why would you think that?"

"I don't know… they didn't seem like they wanted to talk to me much," Seungkwan said.

"They didn't talk that much to any of us," Jihoon said.

"My parent are the quiet type, they don't usually talk much," Joshua explained.

"Well _I_ really liked your parents," Jeonghan said, "they did raise _you_ after all."

"Thanks Jeonghan, I think they'll love to hear that."

Jeonghan looked down at his watch. "We're going to be late, does everyone have their stuff?"

"I'm coming!" Seokmin yelled as he ran down the stairs.

"Are you not taking lunch today Seungkwan?" Jeonghan asked.

"No, some choir friends and I are going to grab lunch somewhere," Seungkwan said.

"And you three?" Jeonghan asked.

" _You sound like my mother_ ," Jihoon murmured.

"What was that Jihoon?"

"I said yeah I got my lunch," Jihoon said.

"That's what I thought, now let's go."

Sophia finally got someone else to take her to school so Hansol was able to get to school early to see Joshua. He arrived in his little blue Mini Cooper—which Hansol thought matched perfectly with Joshua—and parked in his parking spot like always. As he stepped out of his car he put away his sunglasses and hung his bag over his shoulder. Students waved at him when he walked by them and, ever the Gentleman, he waved back and flashed his gorgeous smile.

Hansol leaned his chin on the steering wheel and admired Joshua. He'd become obsessed over him; being near him brought butterflies to his stomach; he couldn't go a few hours without thinking about him.

 _He was becoming a hopeless romantic_ …

He wanted to admit to Joshua so badly but he was so scared of what Joshua would say… He could at least tell his friends, maybe they'd give him some advice.

He thought it over on his way to his class. He decided he'd tell them; he'd admit that he had feelings for Joshua.

There were few students in the class as usual so Hansol sat down at an empty seat and took out his phone.

There were a few messages in their group chat—which they'd named "Hip Hop Unit".

Mingyu: _Let's meet up at the cafe after school_

Seungcheol: _I'll be there_

Hansol replied _Me too_ and pocketed his phone.

So Hansol _hadn't_ moved. Joshua caught sight of him sitting in his car, eyes on Joshua. He smiled to himself a bit, hoping he wasn't flushing. Maybe it wasn't Joshua that Hansol was looking at, maybe he Hansol just liked to sit in his car in the morning and occasionally he'd look at Joshua—right when Joshua was looking at him. It was probably just a coincidence… Why would Chwe Hansol be looking at him?

Joshua sighed and made his way to the school.

Not wanting to spend time loitering by his locker, he hurried to his first period if only to have some peace and quiet—or maybe study a bit more.

Despite his best efforts, Joshua's mind kept wandering to other things while he tried to study. The results were coming out in two days and Joshua could barely contain his anticipation. He was positive he'd made the cut but deep down some part of him doubted himself. He wondered if Hansol was going to make it.

There he was again slipping into Joshua's thoughts. He hadn't known how Hansol had done, or even _what_ , all he knew was that it was a rap with his three friends. _He should've sung something_ , Joshua thought to himself. But the way Hansol had reacted when Joshua asked him to sing indicated he didn't like to sing in front of others. He rested his chin on his hands and sighed, thinking about Hansol.

He managed to focus on studying for a decent five minutes before the bell rang and class began.

Hansol met with Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Wonwoo at the cafe; the three were already waiting at a table when he got there.

"Hey guys," he said. "Are we gonna get anything to eat? Drink?"

"Let's talk first," Mingyu said. He sounded serious—Mingyu was _rarely_ serious. He looked towards Wonwoo, who—Hansol only then realizing it—was seated awfully close to Mingyu.

"Hansol, Seungcheol—" Wonwoo began

"We're dating," Mingyu blurted.

Hansol and Seungcheol looked at each other.

Seungcheol shrugged. "Cool."

"I told you they wouldn't be upset," Mingyu whined to Wonwoo.

"I know, I just wanted it to keep it a secret for a while," Wonwoo said. Hansol thought he'd never heard Wonwoo sound so caring and seductive at the same time.

Hansol looked away.

"Hansol it's your turn to spill," Mingyu said.

"Mingyu, don't—"

"No, it's fine," Hansol cut Wonwoo off. "I _do_ have to tell you guys something, I've been meaning to I just…" He took a deep breath. "The reason, I've been weird lately—" he figured he had to just outright say it, "the reason I broke up with Amy, was because I started liking someone else."

It looked like Mingyu was about to ask who but Wonwoo put up a hand.

"I started liking… _Joshua Hong_ ," Hansol finished.

There was silence at their table.

"Hansol I didn't know you were bi," Mingyu said, breaking the silence.

"Neither did I," Hansol said.

Hansol looked away—he decided it had been the wrong side to do so.


	6. Personal Problems

Joshua was standing by a table on the other side of the cafe—thankfully far from Hansol's table—taking a customer's order. _How did I forget Joshua worked here?_ He turned back to the boys abruptly.

They all glanced confusedly at where Hansol had been staring at.

" _Ohhh_ …" Mingyu said, wiggling his eyebrows.

" _Mingyu,_ _don't you dare_ ," Hansol warned.

Mingyu leaned an elbow on the table. "I won't, don't worry." The look in his eyes said some else.

Hansol massaged his eyes with his thumbs. _Please don't do anything, Mingyu_ , he thought to himself. When he opened his eyes again, Mingyu was waving his hand in the air, motioning for someone. Hansol didn't have to look to know who it was. He hated himself for not having worn a hoodie in the morning.

"Mingyu, stop," Wonwoo said.

"Relax, I just want some coffee," Mingyu said. He stopped waving—probably having caught the attention of who he wanted.

"Hey," said a sweet voice approaching their table. "Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Wonwoo, right? And… Hansol?"

"H-hey Joshua," Hansol said. He was already making a fool out of himself.

"You know, funny thing my mom just texted me and said I'm having dinner at your house tomorrow," Joshua said. "Did you know?"

Hansol shook his head.

The other boys all gave him sideway glances, which he tried to ignore.

"Oh—well, now you do. Can I get you guys anything to eat or drink?" Joshua said.

"I want a medium Expresso," Wonwoo said.

"A large Iced Americano," Mingyu said.

"Large iced tea," Seungcheol said.

Joshua turned to Hansol. "Medium Iced Carmel Macchiato?"

Hansol nodded.

"Alright, I'll be right back with your order," Joshua said with a smile and returned to behind the counter.

"He's going to your house?" Mingyu said as soon as Joshua was out of ear sight.

"His parents and mine are friends apparently," Hansol said. "He came over to my house the other day."

The three boys moved closer. "What happened?" Seungcheol asked.

"Nothing super interesting, I played the guitar for him, he sang, he said what he was doing for SCA, I said what I was—it was all pretty basic to be honest," Hansol said.

Mingyu moved back. "How boring. Why didn't you try to make a move on him?"

"Are you kidding? _No_. Joshua's… _Joshua_ , he doesn't like guys like me, plus he thinks I'm straight since I used to come here with Amy all the time."

"What's wrong with just _telling him you like him_?" Seungcheol asked.

"I just _can't_ ," Hansol said, "I don't want him to hate me."

"He's not going to _hate you_ , Hansol," Wonwoo said.

Hansol shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Keep your mouths shut about this—I don't want the whole school knowing."

"Isn't that Jeonghan's boyfriend?" Seungkwan asked Joshua behind the counter.

"Yeah, his name's Seungcheol," Joshua replied.

"Do you know the others?" Seungkwan asked.

"Yeah, the two sitting close are Mingyu and Wonwoo and the other's Hansol. They auditioned for SCA too."

"Mmm, nice," Seungkwan said and returned to the drink he was preparing.

Joshua prepared the boys' drinks, all the while glancing at their table to look at Hansol.

"Getting distracted?" Seungkwan asked, noticing Joshua's glances.

Joshua shook out of his daze and finished the last drink quickly.

"I was just-uh-making sure they hadn't left." Joshua was a terrible liar, and Seungkwan knew it.

Seungkwan peered at the table to figure out who Joshua was staring at. "Well it's not Jeonghan's boyfriend, the two glued to each other don't seem like your type and are obviously dating, so that only leaves—" Seungkwan gasped "— _Hansol_. That boy that would always flirt with you Saturday mornings?"

"He didn't _flirt_ with me, he had a girlfriend," Joshua said.

" _Had_?"

"I have to get my customers their drinks," Joshua said, cutting their conversation short.

"Tell Hansol I said hi," Seungkwan said.

Joshua rolled his eyes and took the boys their drinks.

"Medium Expresso, large Iced Americano, large iced tea, and medium Iced Carmel Macchiato," he said as he set down their drinks.

"Thanks," Hansol said as Joshua handed him his drink.

Joshua smiled. "No problem, enjoy." He bowed and walked back to the counter.  
Seungkwan was leaning his chin on his elbow. " _So_ …Hansol."

"I think he's cute," Joshua admitted before Seungkwan could pester him.

Seungkwan raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

Hansol arrived home to his sister yelling on the phone—again. Even with his bedroom door closed, he could still hear her bicker with her friends. Sitting himself at his desk, he put in his earbuds and turned the volume up, not caring if it made him deaf.

He took out some paper and a pencil from his desk drawer and began jotting down whatever came to mind for the new song idea Wonwoo had come up with. The verses were flowing out of him, which surprised him considering what he was writing about.

He was going to write one more line—he was waiting for it to hit him, when his bedroom door swung open and his sister walked in, sitting at the edge of his bed, keeping her head down.

He paused his music and turned to her. "Soph, is everything ok?"

"Hansol—it's Chan," Sophia said.

Hansol's mind pictured the worst things that could've happened. "What happened? Is he ok?"

"Yeah, no, he's fine—he isn't hurt or anything. He—" her voice broke.

Hansol moved to sit next to his sister and wrapped an arm around her.

"We-we've been fighting, I thought he was cheating on me so I got so angry with him. I said so many awful things to him. He was just preparing a surprise for me—now I've ruined it." Sophia hid her face in Hansol's neck. Hansol felt droplets hit his neck. Sophia started sobbing hard.

Hansol didn't know what to do so he only stroked her head and murmured reassuring thoughts into her ear.

"I ruined everything Solie, he hates me now," Sophia sobbed.

"He doesn't hate you," Hansol said—similar words that Wonwoo had told him earlier.

"Yes, he does," Sophia insisted.

"Have you talked to him?" Hansol asked.

"I've called him but he won't answer—I think he's preparing for that thing you auditioned for," Sophia said.

"SCA?"

"Yeah, that. Him and three friends are dancing. I want to apologize but I don't think he wants my apologies. Hansol, what do I do?"

Hansol didn't know. He wasn't good with these things, he'd had girlfriends but none that he really cared about. When things got too complicated he just ended things. Hansol wasn't good with feelings.

"Just, try talking to him again, explain what happened." It was the best he could come up with.

Sophia detached herself from. "Hansol, you're horrible with these things. I've already tried explaining what happened, he won't listen." Hansol's confusion must've shown on his face because Sophia sighed and said, "Never mind," and left his room.

Hansol was left stunned on his bed unsure what he could've said better.

He shook himself out of his daze and went back to his desk to write down the last line of his verse.

He sat back and read over what he'd written. As usual he'd mixed English and Korean; he thought the words mixed well the way he'd written it... He read it out loud a few times and deemed it to be good enough, he'd show it to the others later.

He lay on his bed and listened to music while he waited for dinner to be ready. He couldn't stop his mind from drifting to Sophia and her boyfriend. To say Sophia loved Chan would be an understatement. She did everything for him, and him for her. Hansol thought that sometimes they exaggerated, not _only_ with the PDA, but they often did stupid things—at least in Hansol's opinion—for each other, things that seemed unnecessary to Hansol. But maybe that was just love… People _do_ say that love makes people do crazy things.

He was never going to understand love...

Joshua gave his parents a tour of the neighborhood after work, taking them to all of his favorite places. He didn't know the city _that_ well but he showed them what he did know.

Their last stop was a small park by Joshua's apartment where him and his roommates hung out occasionally on Sunday mornings. Joshua bought an ice cream for each of them and they sat down by a small fountain to eat.

Joshua had been waiting for the moment his parents would ask the question, and while they sat by the fountain to eat their ice creams was the moment his mother dared.

"Joshua, will you ever come back to LA?" his mother asked.

"Mom, we've already talked about this…" Joshua replied.

"We're worried about you Joshua, living here all on your own."

"I'm not alone, I have my roommates," Joshua said.

His mother set down hers and Joshua's ice cream and took his hands in hers. "Joshua, please, come back. You can finish high school in Los Angeles than go to college in California—I don't doubt that you can get into whatever college you want, Stanford maybe."

Joshua gave his mother's hands a squeeze. "Mom, I don't want to go back, I like it here."

"Your father and I miss you, Joshua," his mother said.

"Mom, Dad, I miss you too, but I this is about my future." Joshua let go of him mother's hands. "I'm not going back, at least not now."

Joshua's father gave his mother a look that told her to give up.

They finished their ice creams quietly then Joshua walked his parents back to their hotel.


	7. Drifting Off

Regrettably, Hansol skipped waiting for Joshua in the morning to go find Chan. He didn't even have to look for the boy, Hansol knew exactly where he'd be.

He walked into the practice room unannounced and scanned the four faces inside to see which one was Chan.

"I'm sorry, this is a private session, can I help you?" one of the boys said—if Hansol wasn't mistaken his name was Soonyoung.

"I need to talk to Lee Chan," Hansol said.

Three boys turned to Chan.

Chan nodded and led Hansol out of the room. "Go on without me, I'll catch up," Chan said to his friends before closing the door.

"Hi Hansol," Chan said, "is something wrong?"

"I came to talk to you about my sister," Hansol said.

Chan started to speak but Hansol put up a hand to shush him. "I'm not mad at you—Sophia didn't explain that well what happened so I'm not going to blindly blame you without any reason. I just came to say that she'd really upset, she said she felt bad for what she said. All she wants is for you to call her back." His speech sounded like he'd memorized it from somewhere—he really wasn't good with this relationship and feelings stuff.

"I've been trying but she's not picking up, and now with my tight schedule with SCA coming up I haven't been able to sit down with her, and I know it sounds like an excuse, but I've been trying Hansol, I really have. I realized how stupid I was, and I get why she got upset and yelled at me—I don't blame her. I'm going to fix this Hansol, I promise."

"I'm not the one you need to promise to," Hansol said. "Call her and tell her everything you just told me."

Chan nodded with determination. "I will."

"Alright, that was all. I'll let you get back to your friends."

"Thanks. I'll see you later Hansol." Chan bowed and went back to the practice room.

Joshua tried not to think about the fact that he _again_ didn't see Hansol waiting for him in the parking lot—it was selfish of him, thinking that Hansol was there just for him. Maybe Hansol was waiting for someone else and that person stopped showing up too, _or_ , maybe Hansol overslept and wasn't able to come on time.

As Joshua approached his locker, he saw Hansol coming down the hall. _So he came early then_ … He flashed Joshua a smile and kept walking. He eyed Hansol's clothes—cool and casual as always—jeans and a white shirt with a red-and-blue plaid button up shirt on top.

Joshua fished out what he needed from his locker and headed to class.

Jeonghan finally joined Joshua and the others at lunch—with reddened cheeks.

"I don't even need to guess because I _know_ it's Seungcheol," Seungkwan said.

Jeonghan blushed even harder. "Yeah…"  
"I don't think I've ever seen you blush, Jeonghan," Joshua said.

Jeonghan tried covering his face. "I'm not blushing."

Joshua rolled his eyes. Jeonghan, the school's biggest flirt that always made others blush, was blushing.

Once Jeonghan had collected himself, he said, "So, Seungcheol and his friends are going out to Fazzano Saturday night to celebrate making the SCA audition cuts and he asked if we wanted to join them."

"Count me in," Seungkwan said.

"Me too," Jihoon and Seokmin both said.

They all looked to Joshua.

"You're coming," Jeonghan said.

"I'm not sure…" Joshua said.

" _Why not?!_ " Seungkwan asked in disbelief.

"Parties aren't really my thing…" Joshua said.

"But it's to celebrate!" Seokmin protested.

"We don't even know if I made the cuts yet," Joshua said.

"Look at it this way," Jeonghan said, "if you make the cuts, we celebrate, if you don't, we drink ourselves into oblivion until we forget it."

"Come on Jisoo," Seungkwan said.

"Even I'm going Joshua," Jihoon said.

They all looked at him with hopeful smiles.

"Okay, okay, I'll go!"

There was a chorus of "yay's" right as the bell signaling the end of lunch rang and they all rushed to class.

"So… Joshua's going over to your house today?" Mingyu said.

Hansol rolled his eyes. "He's just coming over for dinner— _because our parents are friends_."

"Just leave the boy alone," Seungcheol said—who had finally joined them for lunch that week, with a very smug look on his face.

"You should make a move on Joshua," Mingyu went on despite Seungcheol's warning.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you about Joshua!" Hansol exclaimed, a bit too loud. "I don't want to make a move on him," he said, quieter this time, "so shut your mouth."

Mingyu shrunk back and didn't say anything else about it.

"Are you guys excited about Saturday?" Seungcheol said, changing the subject. "I invited Jeonghan and his friends, if that's okay?"

"The more the merrier," Mingyu said, recovering his cheery attitude. "I'll call Fazzano to— _ah_ , Wonwoo, stop."

Hansol and Seungcheol eyed Mingyu and Wonwoo; the former was covering his face to hide a blush and the latter was trying to hide a smirk.

"I'm gonna go," Hansol said, "I have some stuff to do," he lied. He took his stuff and left the cafeteria. He was surrounded by couples. He needed some time with people that didn't constantly think about a significant other—or alone.

He opted for alone.

Trying to be subtle, Hansol snuck to the roof—a place where no one was going to bother him. He set his bag down and took out the lyrics he'd written the previous night. He went over them a few times while eating the rest of his lunch. Hansol shoved his things back in his bag and tossed it aside.

It was so quiet and peaceful on the roof, Hansol could spend hours there. He put his earbuds in and hit play.

Not long after, he felt his eyelids droop and slowly fell asleep.

Hansol woke up to his phone vibrating in his hand. He rubbed the blurriness from his eyes and looked down at his phone.

 _Wonwoo 3 missed calls_

 _Mingyu 5 missed calls_

 _Seungcheol 2 missed calls_

 _Sophia 4 missed calls_

 _Wonwoo incoming call_

Hansol snapped out of his haze and answered the phone.

" _Where the hell are you?_ " Wonwoo said as soon as he answered.

"On the roof, why?" Hansol replied.

"Why the hell are you on the roof? Hansol do you know what time it is?" Wonwoo asked.

Hansol moved the phone away from his ear and checked the time. If he hadn't been awake then, he was now.

" _Fuck_ ," he muttered, scrambling up to get his things.

" _We've been calling you for the past half hour_. Did you fall asleep Hansol?"

"I would assume so," Hansol replied, already opening the door of to the building and going down the stairs. "My mom's gonna kill me," Hansol muttered to himself.

"She thinks you're staying after to study with a friend," Wonwoo said, "you're welcome."

"Thanks," Hansol said. "Look, will you just tell everyone I'm fine? I have to get home and get ready for that stupid dinner."

"Yeah, I'll let them know. Try not to fall asleep next time, Hansol, we were worried sick about you."

"You were?"

"What do you mean ' _you were?'_ of course we were you asshole, we're your friends. We care about you. Now hurry the fuck up before you miss Joshua." Wonwoo hung up, not giving Hansol a chance to reply.

"You look great Jisoo, stop worrying," Jeonghan said, straightening the wrinkles on Joshua's pink button up shirt.

"Don't you think it's too formal?" Joshua asked.

"It's perfect, the shirt's fancy but the jeans make it casual."

"He's missing something," Seungkwan said, he pushed Jeonghan aside and started to unbutton Joshua's shirt.

"Seungkwan! What are you doing?"

"I'm unbuttoning your shirt what's it look like I'm doing," Seungkwan said, all the while Joshua tried to push him away, "you know, _for Hansol_."

Joshua managed to get Seungkwan away from him and started buttoning up the buttons that the other boy had undone.

"Who's Hansol?" Jeonghan asked.

"One of Seungcheol's friends—Joshua thinks he's cute," Seungkwan replied for Joshua.

"Isn't he straight though?" Jeonghan asked.

"He _is_ ," Joshua said, glaring at Seungkwan, "which is why I only think he's cute— _as in_ , 'he's good looking'—nothing else."

Seungkwan didn't look convinced, but Jeonghan looked like he'd believed him—or at least pretended.

"Alright, hurry up, you're going to be late," Jeonghan said, almost pushing Joshua out the door.

" _Mom_ why do I have to wear this?"

"You're already late, stop complaining," Hansol's mother snapped. She tossed him a white wool vest. "Wear that too it'll look nice."

"Why all white?" Hansol whined.

"Because white looks good on you, now stop complaining." She left the room, saying, "take a shower and get dressed," as the door closed.

Hansol wanted to wear a black hoodie and call it a day but he didn't want his mother yelling at him any more than she already had, so he showered and put on the white button up shirt and wool vest his mom told him to then went downstairs.

Joshua and his parents hadn't arrived yet so Hansol and Sophia were told to wait in the living room.

"Did you talk to Chan?" Hansol asked.

"Yeah, he called me. He said he was sorry and that he never meant for any of it to happen. We're fine now," Sophia replied. "What about you? Do you have your eye on anyone?"

Hansol shook his head. "No one has stood out to me," he lied.

"Hey, what happened to you today? Wonwoo said you fell asleep somewhere but he didn't go into details," Sophia said.

"You're probably going to laugh at me but at lunch I snuck off to the roof and accidentally fell asleep," Hansol confessed.

Sophia let out a giggle. "Really? You fell asleep on the roof of the school?"

Hansol nodded. "Yup."

The doorbell rang and Hansol and Sophia stood up to greet the guests.

Joshua had never seen Hansol dressed so nice—he liked it. It gave Hansol a sense of purity, especially in white.

They greeted each other respectably and soon after, Hansol's mother led them to the dining room. The table was covered in an assortment of sushi and a few Korean dishes.

"Why don't the three of you sit on that end?" Hansol's mother said, speaking to Joshua, Hansol, and Sophia.

The three nodded and sat down where Hansol's mother had suggested.

"Tomorrow's the big day," Joshua said, his attempt at small talk.

"Yeah…" Hansol said, "You nervous?"

"Aren't you?" Joshua said.

"A bit," Hansol said.

Joshua tried one of the sushis, it was one of the best he'd ever had. "This is _really good_ ," he said, not even done chewing.

"My mom's friend makes it; all of the fish is fresh. She catches them herself," Hansol's sister, Sophia, said.

"No wonder it's so good," Joshua said.

"Hansol doesn't like it all that much though," Sophia said.

Joshua turned to see that Hansol's plate did not have a single sushi on it. "Why not?"

Hansol shrugged. "I don't know, I just don't like the taste I guess."

"Hansol, will you pass me the japchae?" Sophia asked.

Hansol nodded and lifted the bowl of food to pass it across the table to his sister; as he extended his arm, he hit a bottle of soy sauce, spilling its contents all over the table.

Hansol set the bowl down immediately and tried to stop the liquid before it fell on Joshua's lap, but he wasn't fast enough. Brown liquid was spreading on Joshua's light-colored jeans like a drop of food coloring in water.

"I am so sorry," Hansol said, already handing Joshua napkins. "I didn't mean for this to happen, Joshua—"

"Hansol, it's fine, it's just a pair of jeans," Joshua said. He saw how worried Hansol had gotten.

The adults had their heads turned in their direction.

"What happened Hansol?" His mother asked.

"I just spilled some soy sauce on myself," Joshua replied before Hansol could.

"Hansol, why don't you lend Joshua a pair of pants?" Hansol's mother asked.

Hansol nodded to his mother. "Come on, I'll get you something clean," he said to Joshua.

Joshua got up and followed Hansol to his room.

Hansol rummaged through his closet to find a pair of pants for Joshua; he took the first pair of jeans he thought would fit him—although it might still end up slightly big due to Joshua's smaller frame.

"It might be a little big," Hansol said as he handed Joshua the pants.

Joshua took the jeans. "Thanks," he said with a flash of his classic smile. Joshua's expression changed. "I think you got some soy sauce on your sleeve." He took Hansol's wrist and turned it over for Hansol to see. He tried not to flinch at Joshua's touch.

"Oh, thanks."

Once Joshua had closed the door to the bathroom, Hansol practically ripped the shirt from his chest. The button up was tight and uncomfortable and the wool vest was making him sweat. He looked through his closet for something his mother would've deemed appropriate for a dinner—a simple long sleeve black shirt.

He was almost finished putting his shirt on when Hansol heard the bathroom door open. He shoved the rest of his shirt down, almost positive Joshua had seen some of his back, and turned around.

Joshua looked better in his pants than he did.

"The black suits you," Joshua said.

"Thanks," Hansol said, a bit sheepishly. "Let me put that in a bag for you," Hansol said, holding out his hands for Joshua's dirty pants.

"Thank you," Joshua said; he handed his pants to Hansol, who had to hold himself back from flinching at the brush of Joshua's fingers.


	8. Drum Roll

Mingyu didn't even waste time asking Hansol how the dinner had gone, he was too busy running to the music room at full speed, with Wonwoo, Hansol, and Seungcheol in tow.

There was a crowd of people surrounding the doors to the music room, all eagerly scanning the list to see who had made it. Mingyu, being the 6'1" human being he is, shoved some people out of the way to see the list himself. He ran his finger down the list quickly searching for his name. Hansol couldn't see the names—or Mingyu's face.

But he found out soon enough if they'd made it. " _Only_ Hansol?"

"What?" the three of them said at the same time.

"Number 13, Chwe Hansol," Mingyu said, "our names aren't here."

"Maybe they only put his name but it means the whole group," Seungcheol suggested.

"No, there's other group acts and all of their names are listed next to one number," Mingyu said.

"Let's ask the director, maybe it's just a mistake," Wonwoo said, he wasn't the only one that was catching on to Mingyu's disappointment.

Mingyu nodded. "Yeah, ok."  
Wonwoo and Seungcheol went to find the director with Mingyu, but Hansol was curious as to who else had made the cuts.

After shoving his way to the list, he scanned the names. He only knew a few people: Chan and his friends, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook, Kim Yugyeom, and of course, Joshua. He hadn't doubted Joshua would make it but still seeing his name on the list made Hansol smile—even though his friends hadn't made it…and he had.

He moved away from the crowd and ran to catch up with the others.

Jeonghan brought mini confetti poppers to lunch and him and Seungkwan popped them over Joshua to congratulate him.

"Thanks guys, you didn't have to do this," Joshua said, brushing confetti from his hair.

"You're way too humble, Jisoo," Jeonghan said. "You deserve this, we saw how hard you worked."

"Yeah, and I'll have to work even harder if I want to make it to the finals."

"Don't _overwork_ yourself Joshua, you know that's not good for your health," Seungkwan said.

"I know, I know…"

"Are you guys excited for the _party_!?" Seungkwan asked enthusiastically.

Joshua just smiled.

"Hey Joshua," Seungkwan said, wiggling his eyebrows, "you know who's gonna be at the party?"

Joshua rolled his eyes.

" _Han-sool_ ," Seungkwan said in a sing-song voice.

"That actually reminds me, I have to give him his pants back," Joshua said, thankful for the excuse to leave.

"Tell him we said hi," Jeonghan said as Joshua was leaving.

Joshua scanned the cafeteria for Hansol, but he was nowhere in sight. He found Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Seungcheol and walked over to them.

"Hey, have you guys seen Hansol today?" Joshua asked.

"He's here, but we didn't see him at lunch," Seungcheol said.

"Oh, ok, thanks," Joshua said.

"Hey Joshua," Wonwoo said as he was about to turn around and walk away.

"Yes?"

"Try the roof."

Joshua nodded his thanks and went looking for Hansol.

Hansol had snuck his guitar to the roof and was playing it, sitting against the railing.

He heard the door to the roof open and scrambled up, already thinking about all of the trouble he was going to get into if someone caught him on there.

"Hansol?" He would recognize that voice anywhere.

"Joshua? What are you doing here?" Hansol said.

"I came to return your pants," Joshua said, "Wonwoo told me you might be on the roof."

"Oh, thanks," Hansol said, taking a paper bag from Joshua.

"I washed them, don't worry," Joshua said.

"You didn't have to," Hansol said.

"But I wanted to."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"Congratulations—for making SCA," Hansol said.

"Thanks, did you make it? My friends checked for me so I don't know who else made it," Joshua said.

"Yeah I made it, but just me, for some reason they didn't want my friends," Hansol said, "I guess I'm solo now."

"Being solo's not so bad," Joshua said.

Hansol shrugged. "I'm just not used to singing entire songs by myself."

"I'm sure you'll do great," Joshua said. "I see you have your guitar."

"Oh, yeah. I just wanted to be alone for a while, I think the boys want some time away from me too."

"Why would they want that? They're your friends. I'm sure they're happy for you even though they didn't make it."

Hansol scratched his head. "I don't know… Mingyu seemed pretty upset."

"It's because he's taking it in, just give him a little bit of time."

Hansol sat back down and propped the guitar on his leg, Joshua following soon after, sitting to Hansol's right.

"Will you play something for me?" Joshua asked.

"O-of course." _And he was back to stuttering_.

He thought for a second before deciding on a song.

He strummed the guitar, focusing on his fingers.

Joshua recognized the song and began singing along.

Just hearing Joshua's voice, Hansol almost melted on the inside.

Hansol once again stumbled occasionally for looking at Joshua, but nothing too noticeable.

"Amazing as ever," Joshua said.

"You're one to talk, your voice is absolutely beautiful," Hansol said.

Joshua turned his face to hide a blush. "Thank you," he said.

"We should get going," Hansol said, "lunch is about to end."

"Joshua was looking for you," Wonwoo said, "did he find you?"

"Yeah, he did," Hansol replied.

"What did he want?" Seungcheol asked.

"He just wanted to return a pair of pants I lent him."

"Woah, woah, woah, time out, when did _that_ happen?" Mingyu asked.

"I accidentally spilled soy sauce on his pants yesterday so I lent a pair."

"Oh yeah, you never told us how that dinner went," Mingyu said, "I wasn't going to call in case you were _busy_ …"

Hansol let out an exasperated sigh. "I should've never told you about Joshua," Hansol murmured to himself.

"He's just messing with you, Hansol," Seungcheol said.

"Yeah, Solie, chill out," Mingyu said. "I still wanna know how that dinner went though."

"It was fine I guess—aside from me spilling soy sauce on Joshua."

"Did you two talk? Anything _remotely_ interesting?" Mingyu pushed.

"Nothing—honestly," he added as Mingyu raised an eyebrow.

"What a boring dinner…"

"What happens at your dinners?" Seungcheol asked.

"Depends who I'm with…" Mingyu said, casting Wonwoo suggestive glances.

"Why did I even ask…." Seungcheol muttered.

"Do you guys have anything picked out for tomorrow?" Mingyu asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"You're the only fashion enthusiast in the group, Ming," Wonwoo said.

"Right, sorry. So I was thinking we should all coordinate, you know like, have a theme," Mingyu suggested.

"If we let you pick the theme we'd all be wearing suits," Hansol said.

"I was going to suggest something like, red, or maybe velvets and silks," Mingyu said.

"Either one is fine," Hansol said.

"Let's do both then," Mingyu said. "If you guys don't have any clothes I'm going shopping tomorrow so tag along if you must."

" _Please tag along_ ," Wonwoo said.

Seungcheol and Hansol got the hint. "We'll be there," Seungcheol said.


	9. aDuLt BeVeRaGes

Hansol ended up leaving the mall with the most shopping bags; Mingyu had shoved a bunch of clothes on him and forced him to buy all of the ones he thought looked good on him. Hansol suspected Mingyu had a secret agenda but they were having a good time, and really, he'd been in need of some new clothes. He'd even let Mingyu pick what he was going to wear at night; Hansol himself thought it was too fancy but Mingyu insisted he looked hot in it.

They all got ready at Hansol's house, mostly because it was the biggest, and all took one car to Fazzano—Wonwoo had volunteered as designated driver since none of the other three were leaving the bar sober.

Right off the bat, Hansol, Mingyu, and Seungcheol ordered a round of shots and gulped them down.

"To Vernon!" Mingyu said.

"To Vernon!" Seungcheol and Mingyu cheered and they all drained their shots.

" _Cheolie_ ," said a voice coming front behind them.

Seungcheol set down his glass and turned to his boyfriend. "You came!" Seungcheol hugged Jeonghan by the waist and lifted him up.

"Ah—Cheolie," Jeonghan said in surprise.

Seungcheol then proceeded to passionately kiss his boyfriend, to which everyone looked away uncomfortably.

"Hey Hansol," said the voice that always brought butterflies to Hansol's stomach.

"Hey Joshua," Hansol replied. Hansol couldn't help but notice that Joshua looked extremely adorable in a white button up shirt and pink bow tie—that matched his pants. He'd slick back his hair, revealing his forehead. Hansol was about to mention how good he looked but Joshua beat him to it.

"You look really good, Hansol—and I see that the four of you seemed to have followed a theme."

"Thanks, the theme was Mingyu's idea. You look great too, Joshua."

"Thanks."

"Do you want something to drink? Vodka? Beer?"

"Water," Joshua said.

"Ah, so you're the designated driver."

"That too but I just don't like alcohol, I don't like how it tastes."

Hansol sensed there was more to it than the taste. "Any other reason…?"

Joshua shrugged. "I like being in control of my body; alcohol takes that away from you."

"But isn't that the point? To lose yourself, to the point where you can't even control what you're doing?"

"I guess some people like that, it's just not for me," Joshua said, and Hansol decided to leave it alone.

"Suit yourself, I want a _sangriaaa_ ," Hansol said, turning to the bar to order his drink.

The bartender gave him a look that suggested he didn't believe his fake ID but prepared Hansol's drink anyways.

Joshua couldn't take his eyes off of Hansol, he looked so hot. The red suit was vibrant and somehow matched perfectly with Hansol, and the black silk button up shirt gave off a very _sexy_ vibe.

"I see where your eyes are, Joshua," Seungkwan said.

"I appreciate beauty when I see it, Seungkwan," Joshua said.

Seungkwan raised an eyebrow. "I think you're appreciating it a little too much."

"Why don't you go get a drink or something," Joshua suggested.

"Only if you drink with me—or are you to scared you'll make a fool of yourself in front of Hansol?"

"You know I don't like to drink, Seungkwan."

Seungkwan shrugged. "Whatever you say…" he said and walked to the bar to presumably order a drink, leaving Joshua sitting at a table by himself. But not for long.

"What are you doing here all alone?"

Joshua looked up to see the handsome face he'd been admiring ever since he walked into the bar.

"Parties aren't my thing…"

"So you don't drink, you're responsible, _and_ you don't like parties." Joshua could tell Hansol was already slightly buzzed from the funny way he was talking.

"That's me; responsible, sober, boring Joshua."

"Oh come on, you're not boring," Hansol said. "Let's go dance."

"Oh-no, I—" Hansol didn't give Joshua time to finish his sentence and was already grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to the dance floor. The sudden contact made Joshua's heart race.

Never in a million years would Hansol have invited Joshua to dance, much less haul him to the dance floor, but Hansol had already had more than a few drinks and was feeling tipsy. He dragged Joshua to the middle of the dance floor, right in front of the DJ and began dancing—Joshua in front of him, uncomfortably, trying to dance.

"You have to loosen up," Hansol yelled over the music, and took Joshua's hands and began moving his arms, Joshua forcibly repeating the movements.

Joshua let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Hansol yelled.

"You're funny when you're drunk," Joshua shouted back.

"I'm not drunk."  
Joshua chuckled again. "Yes, you are."

Hansol shrugged and continued to dance.

"Hey you two," someone yelled from behind Hansol, "we're going to do a round of shots everyone—to celebrate—come on."

Hansol turned around and followed Mingyu back to the bar, one hand still holding Joshua's.

Mingyu handed Joshua a shot glass but he shook his head. "I don't drink."

"Just one Joshua," Hansol said. "Please? For me?" Hansol conjured up his puppy eyes and looked at Joshua.

Joshua hesitated—for a bit. "Okay, okay, just _one_."

"Yes!" Mingyu and Hansol both cheered.

Joshua took the glass.

"To Joshua and Hansol!" Mingyu said. "1, 2—"

"And us!" said someone from behind.

All of them turned around to see three guys walking towards them—Chan's friends, Hansol recognized.

"Would you mind if we join in on your celebratory shots?" the middle one—Soonyoung, Hansol thought his name was—said.

"The more the merrier!" Mingyu said. "Three more shots, please," he said to the bartender.

The three boys took their glasses.

"To Joshua, Hansol, Soonyoung, Minghao, and Jun!" Mingyu said. "1, 2, 3!"

They all drained their glasses and slammed them on the table.

"Wait, what were your names again?" Hansol asked.

"That's Soonyoung," Mingyu said, pointing to a boy with dark blue hair smiling ecstatically, "and Minghao and Jun," he said pointing to the two boys with light brown hair, "they're both Chinese but they speak Korean."

"I'm Hansol," Hansol said to the three boys.

"We know, Chan's dating your little sister," Soonyoung said.

"That is correct," Hansol said. "Where is that kid always?"

"With your sister," Soonyoung replied.

Jun hugged Minghao from behind and whispered something into his ear, and soon after they both left heading to the dance floor.

"They look cute together," Joshua said.

"I guess they do…" Hansol agreed. "So how'd you like your first shot?"

"It wasn't my—" Hansol raised a brow. "Okay, so it was my first shot—but not my first time drinking alcohol."

"When was then?"

"When was what?"

"Your first time drinking alcohol."

"That's not a story I like to share…"

Hansol scooted closer to Joshua. "Come on, tell me. I won't tell anyone, pinky promise." Hansol held out his pinky.

Joshua found himself very susceptible to Hansol's wishes lately… A story he'd never told anyone in his life, he told Hansol; his first time drinking alcohol—and getting drunk.

"But your parents didn't even notice the missing bottle?" Hansol asked, he seemed to have been really submerged in the story.

Joshua shook his head. "They only realized it when I told them."

"And what happened then?" Hansol asked.

"Nothing, they just told me not to do it again—and I didn't. I hated getting drunk, waking up the next day and not remembering anything—it was horrible."

Hansol pouted. "So that's why you don't like drinking? Just because you played spin the bottle and made out with some girl?"

"Yeah…"

"Joshua, the key to getting drunk is not regretting it. Come on, let me show you. Two vodka martinis please," he said to the bartender.

"No, Hansol, I can't, I'm driving," Joshua insisted as Hansol handed him a glass.

"Please Joshua? For me?"

Joshua hated himself for not being able to resist Hansol's puppy eyes.

"Just one drink, Hansol. I'd love to get drunk with you, but I'm driving tonight." Joshua said it because he figured Hansol wouldn't remember it in the morning.

"I'll hold you to that promise," Hansol said, "but for now, cheers." They clinked their glasses together and drank.

After finishing their martinis, Hansol dragged Joshua to the dance floor again and danced. A hours and a few more drinks later, he barely knew what he was doing, he wasn't even sure he was dancing with Joshua anymore.

The last thing he remembered was someone shoving him in a car.

Hansol slowly blinked his eyes open. The room he was in was bright—too bright; he covered his eyes with the pink blanket on his lap. Blanket? Since when did Hansol own a pink blanket? He sat up and looked around.

"Oh, Hansol, you're awake. Good morning."

His eyes adjusted to the light.

"Good morning—Joshua? Wait, where am I?"

"You're in my house," Joshua said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "How do you feel?"

"My head hurts—a lot," Hansol replied. His mind still hadn't grasped that he was in Joshua Hong's house.

"With the amount of alcohol you drank, I'm surprised your head didn't explode. Here, I brought you Advil." Joshua handed Hansol a glass of water and placed the small blue pill in his hand.

"If you need another one let me know," Joshua said.

Something was wrong. Joshua seemed down—not his usual self. "Joshua, did something happen? Are you upset?"

"No, I'm fine," Joshua said, which was obviously a lie, "I'm just tired. Taking care of four drunk men isn't easy, you know."

"I'm sorry to have caused you trouble," Hansol said. He wanted to slap himself. He'd probably done something really stupid and gotten Joshua in trouble and then Joshua had been forced to take care of him.

The question was just _what_ had he done?


	10. Only Fools Fall For You

Hansol looked so happy, Joshua didn't want to ruin it. He danced with Hansol on the dance floor even after his feet began to hurt.

"Now you're loose," Hansol said. Joshua couldn't help but agree; he did feel more relaxed. Maybe drinking alcohol wasn't that bad…

In the middle of their dancing, the music stopped and the DJ said into his mic, "Everyone, we have a special performance tonight. Please welcome, The8 and Jun!"

A spotlight shinned on the center of the dance floor, right on top of Minghao and Jun, the former wearing all white and the latter all black from the glimpses Joshua caught. The crowd formed a circle around them and music began to play. Joshua couldn't see them but things were looking good from the sounds the crowd was making.

Suddenly Joshua felt strong arms wrap around his hips and lift him up. He let out a " _Woah_ " in surprise.

"Can you see them?" Hansol asked.

"Yeah, I can see them," Joshua replied, peering over the crowd. Only then could he see that there was a strip of fabric linking Minghao and Jun, tied around their wrists. The dance was so beautifully complex, Joshua couldn't even imagine how long it took them to get it so perfectly coordinated.

They would tangle and untangle each other with the fabric perfectly, each one of their motions deliberate and precise.

"They're really good," Joshua said, "you have to see this."

Hansol let go of Joshua—not very delicately—and squeezed his way through the crowd to the front.

Joshua watched Hansol's jaw drop as he watched the two boys dance. Joshua should've been watching the dance but he couldn't help but look at Hansol and watch his features change to correspond with his feeling.

Once the song was over, the lights went out and the crowd erupted into applause.

Hansol let out a " _Woooooo_!"

"They were really good," Joshua said.

"I want another drink," Hansol said, and grabbed Joshua's hand, pulling him towards the bar.

Hansol ordered a mojito, and drank it in five gulps, which worried Joshua. Hansol had been drinking nonstop since Joshua saw him.

"Let's go over there," Hansol said gesturing to a table where most of their friends were sitting at. Not waiting for Joshua to reply, he took him by the hand and walked over to their friends.

Mingyu was in the middle of a story when they approached the table. "So I said to him, 'kiss me you asshole' and he pulled me in so hard our teeth hit." Joshua assumed the story was about how him and Wonwoo started dating.

"So who's top?" Hansol asked. Leave it to alcohol to make people ask inappropriate questions.

" _Me_ ," Mingyu said, also quite drunk.

"Oh _really_?" Wonwoo said, who despite having to drive had had a few drinks.

"Wonwoo, _shut up_ , let them _think_ I'm top," Mingyu said to Wonwoo.

"No one thought you were top, Mingyu," Seungcheol said.

"What about you _Cheolie_? Who is top?" Mingyu asked.

"Right now it's Cheolie, but I'm trying to convince him to let me top," Jeonghan said.

Joshua did not want to know any more about his friends' sex life. He Tapped Hansol on the shoulder.

Hansol turned and fixed his eyes on Joshua. "Wow, your eyes are so pretty, Joshua," he said. He tilted his head, still looking at Joshua's eyes. "How come your eyes are so pretty, Joshua?"

There were a few "awww's" from those sitting at the table.

Joshua was at a loss for words. The conversation at the table stopped and Joshua was almost sure they were all looking at him and Hansol.

"Your eyes look like they were made of stars," Hansol continued.

"Th-thank you, Hansol," Joshua said sheepishly.

"You look so cute with that bow tie," Hansol said, pretending to adjust Joshua's tie.

Joshua's hands unconsciously went to his tie after Hansol moved his hands.

Hansol propped his elbows on the table and leaned his chin on his hands, his gaze never leaving Joshua. "Did it hurt?"

Joshua was confused. "Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven," Hansol said.

If Joshua hadn't been blushing earlier, he was now.

"Aww, Jisoo's blushing!" Seungkwan exclaimed.

"Roses are red and violets are blue there's nothing in the world more prettier than you," Hansol said.

Joshua's heart was racing faster than a sports car.

"Hansol—"

"I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together."

Joshua was almost sure he stopped breathing.

"They are so cute together," Joshua heard Seungkwan whisper.

"C-can w-we go dance some more?" Joshua let out. Any more cute pickup lines and Joshua was going to explode.

"Anything for you, Joshua." Hansol took Joshua's hand—more gently this time—and took him to the dance floor.

After only a few minutes on the dance floor, long gone was the sweet, corny Hansol; the music made him wild and savage. He pulled Joshua close to him, their bodies almost glued together, and danced to the music.

Joshua noticed that they were slowly drifting to the edge of the crowd, but he figured Hansol was doing it on purpose.

Hansol sang a few lyrics of the song currently playing into Joshua's ear, Joshua's heart skipping a beat every time he felt Hansol's breath against his skin.

Joshua felt something hard hit his back and he realized Hansol had dragged them far from the crowd. Hansol braced his hands on the wall by Joshua's head, forming a cage around him with his body.

"Hansol—" Joshua began.

Hansol cut him off.

Joshua was frozen with shock. Hansol didn't seem to notice and continued kissing him until Joshua got over his shock and began kissing Hansol back.

The kiss was sloppy and messy but Joshua liked it. Joshua opened for Hansol and he slipped his tongue in Joshua's mouth. The taste of alcohol returned to his mouth as Hansol's tongue touched his.

Joshua pushed Hansol away to catch his breath. Hansol's mouth went to his neck kissing and sucking at his sensitive skin. Joshua felt like he was dreaming—it couldn't possibly be real—Chwe Hansol _couldn't possibly_ be kissing him.

As Hansol sucked the crook of his neck—which Joshua was sure he would be left with a nice purple hickey—Joshua let out a moan, which was thankfully muffled by the loud music.

Joshua pushed Hansol away, both panting. "Hansol—why?"

"I like you, Joshua—I like _like_ you," Hansol said.

"I like you too," Joshua admitted.

"Let's go get another drink," Hansol said, as if the past few minutes hadn't taken place. Joshua decided to let it go considering how drunk Hansol was.

"I think you've had enough," Joshua said.

"But I want another drink." Hansol sounded like a child whining to his mother.

"Hansol, you're already drunk enough."

Hansol rubbed his nose against Joshua's. "Please Joshua."

"Do what you want, Hansol," Joshua said at last.

Hansol took Joshua by the hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Joshua said, letting go of Hansol's hand.

Hansol nodded and walked back to the bar, Joshua went in the other direction.

Joshua splashed water on his face. His lips were lightly swollen and his face was a pinkish tint. He hoped no one would suspect anything.

Joshua looked at the already reddening spot on his neck. He didn't have any makeup with him so he did his best to hide it with his collar. Once he deemed himself suitable, Joshua left the bathroom to find Hansol.

He found Hansol at the same table their friends had been at earlier—with his tongue down some girl's throat. Not just some girl, Joshua realized, _Amy_ , Hansol's ex-girlfriend. She had her arms wrapped around Hansol's neck and Hansol was doing close to nothing to push her away.

Joshua was such a fool. Had he actually let himself believe that _Chwe Hansol_ had feelings for him. _God I'm so stupid_ , he thought.

Joshua felt tears fall down his cheek. He wiped them away quickly. _I want to go home_ , he thought. With the rush of adrenaline gone, Joshua felt tired, he wanted to go home and sleep.

Joshua dug around in his pockets looking for his keys but then realized he had four other people to take home.

Not knowing where his anger was coming from, Joshua declared, "I'm leaving, whoever wants to stay can get a cab."

"I'm coming," muttered a barely-conscious Jihoon.

"Me too," said Seungkwan.

"I'm going home with Cheolie," Jeonghan said, looking towards his boyfriend.

"Just go, Joshua," Wonwoo said, "I'll take the rest home." He was the only one that had caught on to Joshua's frustration.

"I'm coming too!" Hansol declared once Amy had released her hold on him.

"No, you're going with Wonwoo," Joshua said. He didn't want to be anywhere near Hansol.

Hansol pushed Amy off of his lap. "But I want to go with you Joshua-ah," Hansol whined.

Joshua sighed. "Fine, hurry up."

Joshua hurried out to the parking lot where his car was, followed by three drunks—Hansol, Jihoon, and Seungkwan.

The minute Jihoon stepped into the car, he passed out. Seungkwan began playing with his fingers like a five-year-old.

Joshua held the backseat door open for Hansol, but he wouldn't go in.

"Is something wrong Joshua-ah?" Hansol asked.

"Just get in the car Hansol," Joshua said, avoiding Hansol's eyes.

"Can I go in the front?" Hansol asked.

" _No_."

"Please?"

"Fine, but keep your mouth shut." Joshua had never used that tone of voice with anyone.

Joshua slammed the car door shut and opened the passenger door. Hansol wouldn't go in.

"What are you waiting for?" Joshua asked.

"What's wrong, Joshua?"

"Just get in the car!" Joshua yelled. He wouldn't be able to hold back his tears any longer.

Hansol stayed quiet and climbed into the car.

The ride home was quiet except for Joshua's near-silent sobs.


	11. Explanations

Joshua didn't linger after giving Hansol the Advil. Hansol felt guilty despite not knowing what he'd done. Hansol scrambled out of the bed, thankful for the fact that he still had his clothes on from last night, except for his blazer—which he found hanging on the back of a chair. He dug through his pockets looking for his phone, and just as he was beginning to panic he found it in one of the inside pockets. It had 17% battery left—he was surprised. There were a few notifications—namely 3 missed calls from his mother—but he ignored them and dialed Wonwoo, figuring he would be the least hungover.

"Hey Hansol," Wonwoo said after the third ring.

"Hey man, where are you?" Hansol said.

"At Mingyu's house. You?"

"Um, Joshua's house…?"

"I figured. He took you home last night," Wonwoo said.

"He did?"

"You don't remember anything do you?"

Hansol thought for a minute. "The last thing I remember was drinking a martini with Joshua then going to dance…"

"Wow, you missed a lot…"

Hansol was silent for a minute. "Are you gonna tell me?"

Wonwoo sighed on the other end of the line. "Yeah, sure, meet me at the cafe in an hour and I'll tell you all you need to know."

"Wait, no, Joshua works at the cafe," Hansol said.

"Ok fine, meet me at that sushi place close to my house."  
"Okay cool, see you in a bit."

"See you," Wonwoo said and hung up.

Hansol collected his things and decided to go home and take a shower. He didn't see Joshua on his way out and the rest of the house was silent—the others were probably still asleep. Hansol exited quietly and called an Uber.

His house, unlike Joshua's, was bustling with activity. Hansol let out an exasperated sigh. _Why couldn't his family sleep in on a Sunday morning like_ normal _people?_

"Hansol where the hell have you been?" cried his mother as soon as she saw him.

"I was at Mingyu's house," Hansol said, the lie slipping easily off his tongue.

"I thought you were coming home! You could've at least called, I was worried sick!"

"Mom, my friends and I just went out to celebrate, everything was fine," Hansol tried to assure his mother.

" _Celebrate_? _Chwe Hansol Vernon_ you are hungover as _fuck_ , that is not _celebrating_. As soon as you get back from the SCA auditions you are grounded for a _month_."

"You can't ground me for a month!"

"Oh, _yes I can_."

"Yeah, whatever," Hansol said, and rushed up to his room.

"Hansol! _Do not walk away from me_ ," was the last thing he heard before he slammed his bedroom door closed.

Walking into the bathroom, he threw his clothes on the floor and went into the shower; he turned it on, letting cold water fall on him.

He hit the wall in frustration. He was grounded, Joshua probably hated him—and he didn't even know why—and he had a week of _more_ auditions coming up.

Joshua didn't see Hansol leave, thankfully. He was afraid that if he saw him anymore he would break down crying. _I'm a fool for crying_ , Joshua thought. Hansol was straight—he liked _girls_ —so why would he have kissed Joshua? _He probably thought I was some hot girl that had crossed his path_.

But still Hansol's words echoed in Joshua's head.

" _I like you, Joshua—I_ like, _like you_ ,"

Joshua shook himself out of his daze. No, Hansol did not like him, he'd been drunk and said things he hadn't meant; that was all Joshua needed to know. He needed to forget everything from the previous night. He opened his email on his phone to take his mind off of it. He re-read the email from the SCA association for what felt like the millionth time, just to make sure he'd gotten the time and location right. _5 pm at the school auditorium_.

Joshua would finally get to see everyone that had made it.

And that included Hansol.

Whether Joshua liked it or not, he was going to be seeing Hansol much more often from then on.

Joshua heard keys jiggling followed by the sound of the door unlocking.

"What a good morning," Jeonghan announced as he walked into the kitchen. "Wouldn't you agree Jisoo?"

"I don't even want to know what's gotten you in a good mood—because I'm almost sure it's related to Seungcheol and your sex life," Joshua said.

"I won't bore you with the details then," Jeonghan said.

"Thank you," Joshua said.

"All I'm going to say is that Cheolie had the sex of his life this morning," Jeonghan said.

Joshua sighed. "So much for not wanting to know about your sex life…" he murmured.

"Cheer up, Jisoo, I saw you having a great time yesterday with Hansol," Jeonghan said.

And just like that everything rushed back to Joshua.

"Let's not talk about Hansol," Joshua managed to say without his voice breaking.

Jeonghan's maternal instincts kicked in. "What happened Jisoo?"

"Nothing," Joshua said, hiding his face in his hands. He felt the couch dip slightly as Jeonghan sat next to him.

"Jisoo you can tell me," Jeonghan said, wrapping an arm around Joshua's shoulders. "Is it about Hansol?"

Joshua nodded.

"Did he hurt you?"

He nodded again.

"Physically or emotionally?"

"Emotionally," Joshua said under his breath.

Joshua brought his hands down from his face and wrapped his arms around Jeonghan.

"Jeonghan, he k-kissed me, a-and told me h-he like m-me, but then h-he was kis-kissing his ex-girlfriend," Joshua said between sobs.

Jeonghan rubbed soothing circles on Joshua's back. "Well then, he's an asshole."

Joshua sobbed harder. "Yeah, an asshole that I actually fell for… Jeonghan I was starting to like him, _really_ like him—and I thought, _maybe_ , he was liking me back. But—"

"I know, I know, you don't need to say it. Everything is going to get better eventually, but it'll hurt a little in the beginning," Jeonghan said, but it did little to comfort him.

Joshua detached himself from Jeonghan and the elder wiped away his tears. "You can't tell anyone, I don't think even Hansol knows he kissed me," Joshua said.

"I won't, but," Jeonghan said, "you have to at least tell Hansol, he has the right to know."

Joshua nodded. "I know, but not now."

"Take your time," Jeonghan said and pulled Joshua close again and held him for a while, even after he'd stopped crying.

Hansol snuck out of the house without his mother seeing him and arrived at the sushi place— _Taki's_ —ten minutes earlier. He found a table for two and took a seat, waiting for Wonwoo.

Wonwoo arrived shortly after Hansol had sat down. Hansol waved him over and Wonwoo took a seat across from him.

"Where should I start?" Wonwoo said by way of greeting.

"The last thing I remember was ordering a martini with Joshua then going to the dance floor," Hansol said.

"Well, Minghao and Jun performed a cool dance around the time then you guys came to our table—you really don't remember this?"

"I remember bits of the dance—they had some kind of rope tied to each other, right?" Hansol said, memories of the previous night slowly coming back to him in flashes.

"I didn't see it myself but yeah, that's what people were saying," Wonwoo confirmed.

"And then what happened? At the table. What did I say?"

Wonwoo's mouth quirked up.

"What? Was it bad?" Hansol said, suddenly worried.

"Quite the opposite… You were flirting with Joshua—a lot, like saying pickup lines left and right, complimenting his eyes. Joshua was blushing so much."

That made Hansol smile. "Really?"

Wonwoo nodded.

"But then why would he hate me then?"

"I wasn't finished," Wonwoo said.

Hansol nodded, signaling him to keep going.

"I think Joshua couldn't handle any more of your flirting so he asked to go back to the dance floor—I don't know what happened there but you came back what must've been an hour later, alone. I don't think you want to hear the next part."

"Wonwoo-ah, tell me!"

"Amy came up to us—it was just me and Mingyu, Jihoon and Seungkwan at the table, but they were all too drunk to realize what was going on—"

" _What happened goddamnit_?!"

"I was getting there," Wonwoo said, "Amy noticed your very intoxicated state and decided to take advantage of it; she bet that you couldn't drink an entire cup of sake in one gulp—you bet that you could—if you won, she would kiss the female bartender, if _she_ won, you were going to kiss her."

Wonwoo didn't need to finish.

"And Joshua saw it?" Hansol asked.

Wonwoo nodded. "He seemed down afterwards, he told everyone he was going home and whoever stayed could take a cab. You insisted that you wanted to go home with him—so he took you home, even though he clearly didn't want to. And that was the last time I saw you."

"That still doesn't explain why Joshua hates me now…"

Wonwoo shrugged. "A lot happened that I didn't see."

Hansol massaged his temple. "What the hell did I do?" he muttered to himself.

"It won't hurt to ask him, Hansol."

"I did but he said nothing happened."

"And maybe nothing did, maybe he was just tired—or maybe someone else did something and it has nothing to do with you."

"Mingyu is rubbing off on you—when did you become so optimistic?"

Wonwoo shrugged.


	12. Getting it Going

Joshua asked Jeonghan to come with him to the meeting, to which Jeonghan understandingly said yes, no need to ask why. They found two empty seats in between other students and sat down, looking around for familiar faces. They found Soonyoung, Minghao, and Jun, and a few others Joshua recognized, but thankfully not Hansol.

"Just don't think about it," Jeonghan whispered to him as the lights on the stage were coming on.

"Welcome students. Congratulations on making the first audition cuts for the Seoul Contest of Artists. Please take this—"

The sound of the auditorium doors opening cut off the lady speaking at the podium.

Joshua knew what he would see when he turned around but he still did.

Hansol, and Wonwoo, were walking down one of the isles of the auditorium.

The lady waited for both to be seated to proceed. "As I was saying, take this seriously. Many other students auditioned and only a selected few made it. With that in mind, should the SCA board deem you unfit to participate you will be replaced. The director will now go over the rules and regulations for SCA, please save questions until the end."

Wonwoo had to keep telling Hansol to focus and stop looking at Joshua—who had not looked at Hansol once. Joshua definitely hated him.

The assembly was pretty basic, none of the information was extremely necessary, most of it was already implied; i.e. competitors get disqualified if they cheat, competitors were not allowed to use copyrighted work without permission, etc.…

The only part Hansol really had to pay attention to was when the director was explaining what would happen when they went to Seoul the following day. They would be lodged in a five-star hotel and from there they would go to the convention center that the auditions were to be held. There were five stages until a competitor could reach the actual contest. Each stage, a round of competitors was eliminated—almost like a _Britain's Got Talent_ type thing, but much more rigorous. Two weeks after the final stage, the contest would take place; it would be broadcasted nationwide and many entertainment company executives would be recruiting—that's why everyone was desperate to make it to the final, most didn't even care if they won, they just wanted to be recognized by a company. Hansol had heard that even executives from the big three made appearances.

The assembly took longer that Hansol would've wanted; by the time the director got to the questions, Hansol was ready to jump out of his seat.

Hansol got up and took one step in Joshua's direction but Wonwoo held him back.

"Wait, talk to him in private," Wonwoo warned.

Hansol hated when Wonwoo was right. But he also hated waiting.

"Fuck waiting," he said, and yanked his wrist from Wonwoo's grip and rushed after Joshua, who was almost at the exit.

"Joshua!" he yelled.

Jeonghan and Joshua both turned around.

"Joshua please, I need to talk to you." Hansol was taking the steps two at a time, never taking his eyes off of Joshua.

Jeonghan suddenly stepped in front of Hansol, making him almost crash into his chest. "Joshua doesn't want to see you," Jeonghan said.

"Please Jeonghan, I want to apologize—"

"You don't even know what you did do you?"

Hansol shook his head.

Jeonghan sighed. "Just be patient, Hansol, Joshua will open up to you eventually, but for now, keep your distance as much as possible, he needs space."

Wonwoo caught up to Hansol just as Jeonghan was leaving.

"I told you to wait, dickhead," Wonwoo said.

"I fucked up, Wonwoo, really bad—God, I'm such an idiot," Hansol said.

"Look, we all fuck up sometimes—especially when we're drunk—some fuck-ups are worse than others and take longer to fix, so what?" Wonwoo flicked Hansol in the head. "You just need to learn to be patient." He flicked him again for emphasis.

"Ow, okay, I get it…"

"Now come on, you need to pack."

Hansol rolled his eyes. One audition down, many more to go…

Hansol opted for catching a ride with Mingyu and Wonwoo to school instead of having to bear his sister and her boyfriend's lovey-dovey talk.

"Are you sure you got everything?" Mingyu asked for what felt like the millionth time.

"Yes, Mingyu, I got everything," Hansol replied.

"Okay, just making sure. Oh—and don't forget the code to open the suitcase, I forgot mine once and—"

"We were there," Wonwoo and Hansol said at the same time.

"I know, I know, I was just _reiterating_..."

"Good luck Hansol," Wonwoo said as Hansol opened the door to the car.

"You go win that trophy!" Mingyu exclaimed.

"Thanks guys," Hansol said, "I'll text you later."

"Have a safe trip," Mingyu said as door closed.

There was a large charter bus already halfway full of students and luggage. He spotted Chan and Sophia saying goodbye—then engage in too much PDA, which Hansol had to advert his eyes.

As always, his eyes scanned the crowd of students for a particular face but didn't find who he was looking for.

Hansol places his suitcase in the baggage compartment and went inside the bus. It got quiet when he stepped inside—the annoying silence that always followed when he walked into a room...

He looked for a seat in the very back, and one was thankfully vacated by a freshman after one glance from Hansol. Hansol secretly enjoyed the fact that sometimes he could be intimidating, even to older kids than him.

Hansol put on his earbuds and rested his head against the window, easily falling asleep.

By the time he woke up they were already on the road, and had been for half an hour according Chan, who had taken up a seat in front of Hansol, next to his friend Soonyoung.

His eyes scanned the tops of heads around the bus.

"If you're looking for Joshua, he's siting two seats behind you," Soonyoung said, "he arrived late and that was oddly the only seat remaining."

Hansol scrambled around, not being even a little bit subtle as to how desperate he wanted to see Joshua.

The person behind him almost jumped out of his seat at Hansol's sudden appearance—Hansol ignored him and peered at the seat behind.

Joshua was resting his head against the window, fast asleep.

Hansol thought he looked so peaceful as he slept.

"Someone's got a little _crush_ …" Soonyoung said in a singsong voice.

Hansol turned back around.

"You are so whipped for him," Chan whispered.

"Will both of you shut up," Hansol snapped.

"You're not being very subtle, Hansol," Soonyoung said.

Hansol looked away from the two boys.

Chan apparently didn't get the hint. "Why haven't you asked him out?"

"It's none of your business," Hansol snapped, a bit too harshly.

"Hey, no need to snap at him, it was just a question," Soonyoung said, sounding like an overprotective mother.

Hansol stayed quiet.

"Just leave him alone, Chan," Soonyoung said to Chan, and Hansol was left alone.

Sleep came easily to him but not long after, he was being poked awake by Chan.

Joshua was doing nothing to hide the fact that he didn't want to be within ten feet of Hansol, but maybe that was a good thing.

All of the students were waiting in the lobby of the massive hotel they were staying in

The director was waiting for all students to arrive to begin assigning rooms and roommates.

"Is everyone here?" the director asked,

"We're here, we're here!" came a voice coming from the entrance of the hotel. Joshua refused to turn around to see who was coming—he already knew, as a matter of fact.

"Late again Chwe Hansol-ssi?" the director asked.

Joshua heard Hansol mumble his apologies.

"Now, roommates..." the director began listing off names and room numbers and holding up keys for the students to pick up. Joshua only knew a few of them.

"Kwon Soonyoung, Xu Minghao, Wen Junhui, and Lee Chan room 222."

"Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook, and Kim Yugyeom room 231."

Almost all of the student had gone to their rooms and Joshua was one of the few remaining—Hansol was one of the other few.

"Is it Hong Joshua?" the director said.

"That's me," Joshua said.

"Are you Korean?"

"My parents are, I was born in America; my Korean name is Hong Jisoo."

"Ah, I see... Room 317 with Chwe Hansol."

Joshua's heart rate increased. He went to pick up the key with the director, fully knowing that Hansol was closely behind him. He took the key with shaking hands and went towards the elevator.

Hansol was silent on the way to the room, which Joshua was surprised by yet grateful for.

Hansol broke the silence once they stepped into the room. "I just want you to know I had nothing to do with us being in the same room."

"It's fine," was all Joshua said.

"Joshua I'm sorry, for whatever it is I did," Hansol said.

"You don't even know what you did," Joshua allowed himself to say.

"So tell me, please." Hansol got closer and tried to take Joshua's hands, but Joshua pulled away before he could.

Hansol didn't push him any further.

Joshua definitely hated him; he was doing everything he could to not even look at Hansol, leading Hansol to decide that it would just be best to leave Joshua alone. Hansol had to trust that he would open up eventually...

They operated in silence. Hansol didn't want to put this earbuds in case Joshua decided to say something—but he said nothing.

They unpacked some of their things and returned to the lobby to receive instructions.

"Today will be a day to rest," the director said, "you will be allowed to do whatever you would like, all hotel functions are available to use." She began reading off of a pamphlet. "Pools A and B are located on the West wing, as well as the spa and sauna. Pool C is located on the South wing. The practice room, gym, and game room are located on the East wing." She looked up from the pamphlet. "Curfew is 11 pm, no later. Call time tomorrow morning is 8 am. Tomorrow will be a long day so rest as much as you want. Dismissed."

After returning to the room and getting dressed, Hansol headed for the West wing, hoping that the pools weren't too crowded.

He should've stayed in the room and practiced his song—one he'd written a while back and, due to lack of time, decided to use it for his next auditions—but Hansol needed desperately something to clear his mind.

He was told one pool was heated and the other not as much, so Hansol opted got the colder one.

He leaned his elbows on the edge and rested his head back. Hansol could have stayed there for hours doing nothing.

There was suddenly a splash of water in front of him that startled him out of his relaxation.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed after seeing who had jumped in.

"Hey Hansol," Chan said, swimming closer.

"I'm beginning to think you have a crush on me," Hansol said.

Chan rolled his eyes.

"If you're stressed out you should head to the spa, I heard they have great massages, Soonyoung's headed there."

Hansol thought for a minute. "You know what, I'm gonna go try that." Hansol got out of the pool and wrapped himself in a towel.

"Have fun," Chan called as he walked away.

Chan had a mischievous look on his face when Hansol turned to wave back to him. Hansol decided not to question it.


	13. Run Ins

Joshua was glad Hansol was leaving—because he was planning on staying, and practicing. He took his guitar out of its case and made sure it was still tuned.

Deeming it good enough to play, Joshua took his pick and strummed the strings.

He was halfway done with his song when there was a knock on the hotel door.

"Joshua-ah, it's Soonyoung," said the person on the other side.

Joshua set down his guitar and went to open the door.

"Were you headed anywhere?" Soonyoung said once the door opened.

"No, I don't really feel like doing anything right now," Joshua replied.

"Then come to the spa with me—you won't have to do anything, just relax," Soonyoung suggested.

"Thanks for the offer Soonyoung, but I'm fine, really."

" _Come on Joshua_ ," Soonyoung begged, "you need to stop overworking yourself."

Joshua sighed. He didn't know Soonyoung very well, but he knew that he was stubborn. "Fine, just let me change…"

"Yay!" Soonyoung let out.

The spa was quiet when they arrived, and Joshua had to admit, just from walking into the room, he felt relaxed.

There were three massage beds inside the small, dimly lit room, one of which was occupied by another guy. Joshua had to stop for a second and appreciate the sight he was seeing. It was a hot back.

Joshua laid face down in the massage bed next to the other boy.

Soonyoung wiggled his eyebrows at Joshua—although Joshua didn't understand why—and laid down in the last empty bed.

Not too long after they were seated, soothing music began to play. There were few other noises to be heard.

The lights dimmed even more and Joshua felt delicate hands begin massaging his back.

"Relax," one of the women said in a soft voice, "clear your mind."

He took a deep breath and the scent of lavender filled his lungs.

Hansol was almost sure he wasn't going to be able to move by the time the massage was finished—he might just have to spend the night at the spa.

The hands at his back were moving expertly, massaging all of his sore spots, and he might've let slip a moan or two, much to his embarrassment.

After what felt like hours, the hands on his back stopped. "What was your name again, dear?"

"Hansol," he replied as he sat up.

There were two other guys sitting next to him—one whom he assumed was Soonyoung if the blue hair was any indication.

"Hey Hansol," Soonyoung said, lifting up his head.

Hansol waved a hand. "Hey."

"Joshua-ah aren't you going to say hi?"

Hansol froze. Joshua had been lying next to him the whole time?

Joshua slowly lifted his head and propped his chin on his hands. "I think I'm going to stay a bit more, Soonyoung, you go ahead," Joshua said, completely ignoring Hansol.

Soonyoung looked to Hansol and gave a shrug as if to say, _I'm sorry_.

Hansol returned with a small nod.

"I'm going to the sauna," Soonyoung said.

"I'll join," Hansol said.

They collected their things and headed for the sauna.

Soonyoung and Hansol sat on wooden steps inside the sauna across from each other, which other than them was thankfully empty.

Soonyoung frowned. "Things really are messed up between you two then…"

"And the worst part is that I don't even know why," Hansol said. He had no idea why he was rambling off to someone he barely knew—but he was sure it had to do with something in his head telling him that he could trust Soonyoung.

Soonyoung moved closer to Hansol. "Don't worry Hansol, things will get better."

Hansol shot up from his seat. "That's what everyone keeps saying, I'm tired of hearing it! I don't want things to _eventually_ get better! I can't stand the fact that Joshua hates me and more so the fact that I don't even know why!" Hansol could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. "For the first time in my life I actually thought that I was growing genuine feelings for someone, and then I fucked everything up."

Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Hansol. "I'm sorry Hansol, I didn't realize it was this bad."

"Soonyoung, I feel horrible, I never meant for any of it to happen." The tears began falling down his cheek.

Soonyoung rubbed soothing circles into Hansol's back. "Then tell Joshua that, don't just tell him you're sorry, _show_ him." Soonyoung detached himself from Hansol and wiped his tears. "Now stop wasting time, _go_."

Joshua wasn't in the room when Hansol got there, so he took a seat on the armchair and waited, occasionally checking his phone for any notifications.

There was no sign of Joshua for the next half hour. Hansol wondered where he'd gone.

He dialed Soonyoung thinking that maybe he'd seen Joshua **.**

"Hey Hansol, now's not really a good time—put that down," Soonyoung said when he picked up the phone, followed by someone in the background childishly yelling _"No!"_

"What's going on?" Hansol asked.

"Nothing to worry about—Joshua!"

That got Hansol's attention. "What's happening Soonyoung?"

"Don't worry about it—I have to go, bye." The line went dead.

"Soonyoung!" Hansol yelled at no one.

He picked up the pamphlet the map of the hotel and looked for all of the bars—Hansol had put two and two together.

There were two in the west wing and one in the east wing, Hansol headed for the west wing first.

The first bar he went to there was no sign of Soonyoung and Joshua. The second one, however...

"What the hell?" Hansol practically yelled once he saw what was happening.

Jun and Joshua were dancing on the tables while Chan, Soonyoung, and Minghao were trying to get them to get down.

Soonyoung's head snapped towards Hansol. "Hansol! What are you doing here?"

"I want to know what the hell is going on," Hansol replied.

"Can't you see what's going on?" Minghao said, eyes still on his boyfriend. "Jun, get down!"

Hansol moved towards Soonyoung and Minghao. "I can see what's happening now, I want to know what happed that led to this."

"Let's focus on helping them down first," Soonyoung said, "then we'll explain everything—but since you're here, help."

Hansol nodded. That would have to do for now.

"Joshua get down from there," Hansol said.

"Oh, no, Chwe Hansol is telling me to get down so I have to obey— _bullshit_!" Joshua said and kept walking on top of the bar.

"You know what," Hansol said. He pushed himself on top of the bar and went after Joshua. Joshua noticed that he was being followed and walked faster.

"Joshua get back here!"

"You can't catch me!" Joshua teased in a singsong voice. He was wrong, however.

Hansol wrapped his arms around Joshua's waist and lifted him up, careful not to let his head hit the ceiling. Hansol would've enjoyed the feeling of having his arms wrapped around Joshua but with the current circumstances, he wasn't.

"Let go of me," Joshua whined.

"Only if you promise to get down," Hansol said into his ear.

Joshua didn't reply.

"Promise, Joshua," Hansol said.

"I promise, geez, you sound like Jeonghan."

Hansol let go of Joshua and they both got down from the bar, Hansol lending Joshua a hand.

Soonyoung and Minghao had managed to get Jun down, who was resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder sleepily.

"Let's get these guys to bed," Soonyoung said.

Hansol nodded and the five of them headed to their rooms.

Minghao and Jun stopped at the second floor and Soonyoung accompanied Hansol and Joshua to their room.

Hansol laid Joshua on the bed and slipped back outside to talk to Soonyoung.

"Now do you want to tell me what happened?" Hansol asked

"Turns out Joshua and Jun are lightweights," Soonyoung said.

"That doesn't explain how both of them ended up drunk, standing on top of the bar," Hansol said.

"From what Minghao said, him and Jun were at the bar and they saw Joshua by himself," Soonyoung said. "By the time _I_ got there, Jun and Joshua had had a little too much to drink."

"Did he say anything? A-about me?"

"Not really… I'm sorry Hansol."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Hansol said. "Well, I'm gonna go take care of him."

"Okay, I'll see you later Hansol."

"See you."


	14. Breaking Point

Joshua was jumping on the bed when Hansol walked back into the room.

"Please get down from there," Hansol said sighing.

Joshua giggled childishly and continued jumping. "You can't tell me what to do," he replied in English.

"Joshua why are you drunk?" Hansol asked.

"I'll only answer if you ask in English," Joshua said.

Hansol sighed. "Why are you drunk?" he asked in English.

Joshua stopped jumping and landed on the bed sitting down. "Because of you, dummy," Joshua said.

Hansol had been expecting it. "Why exactly?" He knew he was taking advantage of the fact that Joshua was drunk but it might be his only chance to get the answers he needed.

Joshua stuck out his tongue and crossed his arms. " _I'm not telling you_."

"Please Joshua," Hansol pushed.

Joshua shook his head.

Hansol moved to sit next to Joshua on the bed. "Joshua, I know you probably won't remember this tomorrow, but, I'm sorry, I really am—for whatever it is I did."

Joshua sighed and rested his head on Hansol's shoulder—much to Hansol's surprise.

"Why do you have to be so… _you_? You're all sweet and handsome—you make it so hard being mad at you."

"You don't have to be mad at me," Hansol said, "let's just forget about what happened and start over."

Joshua picked his head up and looked Hansol in the eye. "We can't—no. Yeah, no, we can't. You—I, I can't let myself be hurt by you anymore."

Hansol wanted to bury himself in a hole and never come out. "I never meant to hurt you Joshua, please believe me."

Joshua shook his head. "It's not your fault—it's mine, I let myself fall for you and I shouldn't have."

Hansol didn't know what to say.

"I'm tired," Joshua said as if the last few minutes hadn't happened. "Hansol do you want to sleep on the right or the left? I usually sleep on the left but it's okay if you want to."

"Sleep wherever you want, I'll sleep on the couch," Hansol said. He knew it would be useless confessing to a drunk Joshua that his feelings weren't one sided. "Why don't you take a shower? I'm going to step out for a minute."

Hansol didn't know where he was going, nor did he care. He wondered down the silent halls of the massive hotel without a destination in mind.

He eventually found himself at the entrance to a pool—Pool C he assumed, since he hadn't seen it before. He was surprised it was open this late.

He rolled up the bottom of his pants and put his feet into the water.

He was at the brink tears—squeezing his eyes shut to keep the drops from pooling in his eyes.

He tried to focus on other things, but his mind kept going back to his conversation with Joshua.

 _"_ _I let myself fall for you_ "

Joshua felt something for Hansol, but Hansol had been too much of a coward to admit his feelings. The first person he ever felt a genuine caring for had slipped through his fingers without him even noticing.

The tears started coming involuntarily, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably with his sobs.

He buried his face in his hands.

Joshua hated him, he'd liked—maybe even loved—him once but Hansol ruined everything. He had to have gotten drunk and ruin everything. He hated himself for it.

"Hansol?"

His head snapped up.

"Oh my God, Hansol." Soonyoung dropped the towel and water bottle he was holding and knelt by Hansol. "What happened?"

Hansol wiped away his tears as quickly as he could. "Nothing, don't worry about it."

Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Hansol, he welcomed Soonyoung's comfort and warmth without hesitation.

Soonyoung didn't ask any more questions and simply allowed Hansol to sob onto his shoulder.

Soonyoung eventually helped Hansol to his feet and steered him out of the pool area and up to his hotel room.

Chan and Minghao—Jun was fast asleep on his bed—didn't ask questions when Soonyoung walked into their room with a sobbing Hansol on his shoulder.

Soonyoung sat Hansol on the bed and said something to Minghao about making tea.

Hansol felt the bed sink next to him as Soonyoung sat next to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Soonyoung asked.

Hansol shook his head.

Soonyoung didn't push; he wrapped his arms around Hansol again and rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"Chan, go check on Joshua," Soonyoung whispered away from Hansol.

Hansol dug inside his pocket and tossed Chan the key card.

Chan gave a small nod and left the room.

They stayed a few minutes in silence, the only sounds heard in the room being Hansol's sobs.

"I ruined everything Soonyoung," Hansol finally said, breaking the silence. "Joshua actually felt something for me but I ruined everything—he hates me now."

"Joshua doesn't hate you," Soonyoung said, "how could he? Hansol, I see how you look at him, I see how much you love him. I know how much this hurts you—but Joshua is hurting too, you have to give him time."

"I know I do—but... I don't know, it's like something's eating me from the inside."

Minghao extended a steaming mug to Hansol. "It's chamomile," he said.

"Thanks," Hansol murmured, taking the mug and bringing it up to his lips. The hot liquid almost burned his tongue but he swallowed it, feeling it warm his stomach.

"You have to tell Joshua how you feel," Minghao said.

Hansol had a feeling it was unlike Minghao to give romantic advice by the look of surprise on Soonyoung's face.

Minghao shrugged. "I've been through it before," he said, gesturing to the sleeping boy on the other bed. "The same thing happened to Junnie and I, all of it was just miscommunication—neither of us would admit their feelings, afraid that the other wouldn't feel the same, but that just complicated everything."

"Talk to him tomorrow, when he's sober, once he sees that you're truly sorry, he'll open up to you," Soonyoung said.

Hansol nodded.

"You can sleep in our room if you want, I'll go stay with Joshua.

"Thanks," Hansol said.

Soonyoung shrugged. "That's what friends are for."

Joshua woke up to a pounding headache. He groaned and blinked his eyes open. The room was dark, except for a string of light coming from the bathroom door.

He tried to recollect what he remembered from the previous night. He'd gone to the bar after seeing Hansol at the spa and then things began to get blurry in his mind. He remembered seeing Jun and Minghao then Soonyoung, and later—Hansol. Joshua scrambled up, looking around the room for any sign of Hansol, but he only saw Soonyoung laying on the couch fast asleep.

Where _was_ Hansol?

Joshua tiptoed to the bathroom, careful not to wake Soonyoung, to check his current state.

He looked like he'd woken up from the dead. The dark circles under his eyes were as prominent as ever, his hair was a mess, his clothes wrinkled.

His mind was slowly waking up and starting to piece things together. He was at a hotel in Seoul for SCA auditions, Hansol was his roommates—currently nowhere to be seen—

 _The auditions_.

Joshua hurriedly checked his phone for the time.

"SOONYOUNG!" he yelled. They were late. _Very_ late.

"HOSHI FIGHTING!" Soonyoung yelled and sat up abruptly.

"Soonyoung we're late—they probably already left."

Joshua had a million questions going through his head but at the moment his first priority was SCA.

Soonyoung checked his own phone just as it started vibrating in his hand.

"Minghao, I was just about to call you," Soonyoung said.

Minghao replied something that Joshua couldn't make out.

"Joshua and I overslept, where are you guys?" Soonyoung said, then a few seconds later, "Okay, we're coming." Something Minghao said upset him.

"What happened?" Joshua asked.

"The director wants to talk to us, she's been waiting for us."

Joshua knew it was all his fault. "I'm sorry Soonyoung, this was all my fault, you and your friends are in trouble and it's all because of me." Joshua covered his face in shame.

Joshua felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Joshua **,** it's okay, don't blame yourself."

"No, it's my fault, you might get disqualified—Hansol might..."

"We'll be alright Joshua." Soonyoung wrapped his arms around Joshua to comfort him.

Joshua gladly accepted the warming embrace.

"Soonyoung, I'm sorry, it's just... I've had a lot on my mind lately, I-I wasn't

thinking straight."

"I don't think you ever think straight, Joshua," Soonyoung joked.

Joshua gave him a light shove. "Now isn't the time for jokes, Soonyoung," he said, but giggled nonetheless. Joshua wiped away a tear that had slipped.

"Look, whatever happens, we won't blame you, okay?" Soonyoung said.

Joshua could only nod. What did he do to deserve the friends he had?

Hansol, Jun, Chan, and Minghao he been waiting in the lobby for what must've been just over an hour, Minghao nonstop calling Soonyoung and Joshua, until the two of the them finally woke up and got down to the lobby.

"They're coming," Minghao said to the very frustrated-looking director.

"Have you finally decided to grace us with your presence?" the director scolded sarcastically at Soonyoung and Joshua.

The two bowed, rattling off apologies.

"Sit," the director said, gesturing to the couches around them.

"I have never been more disappointed in SCA competitors than I have ever been in my 15 years of directing—"

"It was all my fault director, they had nothing to do with it," Joshua interrupted.

"Do not interrupt me," the director snapped, and Joshua shrunk back into his seat.

Joshua was not-so-subtly avoiding Hansol at all costs, as Hansol had already predicted. He wondered if Joshua remembered their conversation.

"My first instinct was to disqualify all of you without another thought, but I was convinced to do otherwise." The director took a deep breath. "I am going to give you _one more chance_ , if you ruin it, you will be disqualified and sent home. Understand?"

They all muttered their understandings.


	15. Everything Out

The convention center was enormous to say the least, and it was overflowing with people.

"How are we supposed to compete with all of these people?" Soonyoung said as they walked in.

"I was wondering the same thing," Hansol said.

"Jun are you okay?" Soonyoung asked.

Jun shook his head slightly.

"Let's go find somewhere to sit then," Soonyoung said.

Minghao whispered something to Jun in Chinese and wrapped a protective arm around him.

"Jun doesn't like crowds," Soonyoung explained to Hansol and Joshua.

They found a secluded area where there weren't many people around and sat down and waited for their turn to audition. Thankfully their audition rooms were all close to each other, so they didn't have to separate.

Hansol had brought his sheet music with him and was going over his lyrics over and over in his head.

Joshua had his guitar and was quietly playing his song.

They waited anxiously without saying anything to each other.

"Let's run over the choreography one more time," Chan said—the first thing any of them had said in what must've been an hour.

Soonyoung shook his head. "I don't want to do it in front of the other competitors."

"It's not like they can steal our moves," Chan said.

Soonyoung shook his head again. "You never know..."

Chan sighed. "Fine..."

"Kwon Soonyoung, Xu Minghao, Wen Junhui, and Lee Chan."

The six of them looked up.

"Kwon Soonyoung, Xu Minghao, Wen Junhui, and Lee Chan," repeated a man in front of one of the rooms.

The four dancers got up and headed in the direction of the room.

"Good luck," Joshua and Hansol called after them.

"Thanks!" Chan waved back.

It was just him and Hansol—neither speaking to one another. Joshua was rudely trying to pretend Hansol wasn't even there. He hadn't stopped to think that it might've hurt Hansol's feelings—but maybe he deserved it, for what he did to Joshua.

 _But it wasn't his fault in the first place_ , Joshua thought. Joshua was hurting because of himself, because he had fallen for Hansol knowing that his feelings wouldn't be returned. The only person to blame was himself.

He would have to talk to Hansol eventually, it was inevitable, but he couldn't bring himself to, every time the thought about it he would see hear Hansol's voice saying he liked him at the same time as he saw Hansol kissing his ex-girlfriend, almost as if it was mocking him.

"Hong Jisoo."

He looked up at the mention of his name.

"Room 12, Hong Jisoo," the person repeated.

"Good luck," Hansol said.

Joshua could only bring himself to mumble a "you too," before getting up and heading for the room.

The room was empty save for him and three judges.

"What will you be presenting for us today, Jisoo?" asked one of the judges.

"I will sing and play an original song," Joshua said, keeping his speaking short and concise.

"Very well, you may begin."

Joshua sat on the stool provided and rested his guitar on his leg.

Hansol was called not long after Joshua into the room right next to him. He passed by a sobbing teenage girl on his way in which made his heart race a bit.

He usually wasn't nervous to perform in front of crowds or judges but he'd never performed for something so serious.

He handed his flash drive with the BGM on it to a staff member and went to stand in front of the judges.

"State your name and what you will be performing," one of the judges said.

"My name is Chwe Hansol, I go by the alias Vernon, and I rap."

"Alright Vernon, begin whenever you're ready."

He gave a small nod to the staff member by the sound panel, signaling for him to play the music.

He had made it halfway through the song smoothly when one of the judges put up his hand and the music stopped.

"That's all we need to hear, thank you."

Hansol's heart started racing. "I can perform another song if you—"

"That's all we need, thank you," the judge repeated.

Hansol bowed and walked out of the room.

He could barely turn the knob properly; his hands were shaking so bad.

He saw Soonyoung and Jun waving him over when he walked out of the room.

"How'd you do?" Soonyoung asked.

"I-I think I did good, but they cut me off halfway through," Hansol replied.

"I'm sure you did great Hansol," Jun said.

"Thanks. What about you guys?"

"We messed up a little but I don't think they noticed," Soonyoung said.

"That's good," Hansol said.

"Where's Joshua?" Chan asked.

"He went in right before me, he's probably almost done."

As if right on cue, Joshua walked out of the room he been auditioning in.

"Joshua! Over here!" Soonyoung called.

Joshua smiled when he saw them and walked over to join them.

"How'd it go?" Soonyoung asked.

"They asked me to sing something else, is that a good thing?" Joshua said.

"I think so," Chan said.

"Probably," Soonyoung agreed.

"Can we go if we're done?" Hansol asked.

Minghao shrugged. "I guess, we just have to pay for a cab."

"Then let's go, I'm starving," Hansol said.

"Me too," Joshua admitted.

"Let's grab something to eat on the way," Soonyoung suggested.

They all nodded in agreement and went outside in search of a cab.

The six of them found a nice table to sit at by the pool and devoured their takeout—turns out not only Joshua and Hansol were starving.

Chan pat his belly in satisfaction. "That was _good_ ," he said.

"Everything tastes better when you're hungry," Joshua said.

"I can't help but agree," Soonyoung said.

"Let's go watch a movie or something," Minghao suggested.

"I was gonna suggest we go to the pool in a little bit, but sure," Hansol said.

"The pool sounds good," Chan said.

Jun whispered something in Minghao's ear, causing him to blush. "O-okay. Junnie and I are going to watch a movie, you guys have fun at the pool." He took Jun by the wrist and practically ran back to their hotel room.

"We might have to sleep in your room tonight," Soonyoung said.

"Our doors are always open," Joshua said.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am _way_ too lazy to go up and change," Hansol said, stripping off his shirt.

"I am not _setting_ _foot_ in our hotel room," Chan said, "who knows what those two are doing."

"Me neither," Soonyoung said, his shirt joining Hansol's shirt on the ground.

Chan kicked off his shoes and shirt and cannon balled into the pool.

"You guys have fun, I'm going back to the room," Joshua said.

"Aw, don't be a party pooper Joshua," Soonyoung whined.

"I'm still a bit hungover, I need a nap," Joshua said.

Soonyoung sighed. "Fair enough… sleep well."

"Thanks, I'll see you guys later," Joshua said.

Joshua thought he might read a book to pass the time, but he ended up not even lasting five minutes. He fell asleep with his book still opened on his lap.

He had a blissful, dreamless sleep, something he hadn't had in so long; amidst school, practicing, Hansol, Joshua was never able to sleep properly. When he was finally able to, he cherished it as much as he could.

He woke up blurry-eyed hours later according to the time. Hansol still wasn't back, and neither was Soonyoung and Chan, leading Joshua to assume that they were still at the pool. He stretched out on the bed and decided to take a shower.

Joshua was in the middle of his quiet, steaming shower when he heard the door to the room open.

He willed himself to get out of the shower despite wanting to stay a bit longer. He had thankfully brought his clothes into the bathroom and didn't have to walk out in his towel.

When he came out of the bathroom, Hansol had his back—his _very hot_ back, as Joshua hated to admit—facing to him, and he was drying his hair with a towel.

He turned around when he heard Joshua and set the towel down.

"Can we talk Joshua?" Hansol asked.

"I'm not in the mood to talk," Joshua said, and he wasn't, because seeing Hansol like this made him afraid that he would fall for him all over again, and his heart would break all over again.

"You don't have to say anything just listen, please."

Joshua took a deep breath. Maybe he owed Hansol that much... "Talk."

Hansol took a deep breath as well. "Joshua, for the longest time, I-I, I've felt something for you."

Joshua sucked in a breath. He hadn't been expecting to say _that_.

Hansol waited a moment before continuing. "I don't exactly know what it is but it's this feeling that makes me want to be near you all the time; every time you walk into a room I can't help but stare—you take my breath away every time I see you, and I get all awkward and stupid when I'm trying to talk to you because I can't stop thinking about—" Hansol stopped.

"Go on," Joshua managed.

"Because I can't stop thinking about how much I want to be with you."

Joshua thought he must've stopped breathing.

Seconds of silence passed.

"Please say something, Joshua," Hansol said.

"I don't know what to say..."

Hansol was slowly breaking on the inside. He had declared everything he felt to Joshua after so long and his biggest fear was coming true—Joshua didn't like him back, he was going to be rejected and cast aside.

Hansol felt his hands begin to shake. He had to run, to get out of the room.

He took one step and Joshua said, "Wait."

Hansol couldn't bring himself to look Joshua in the eye.

"I-I feel the same," Joshua said. "I was just scared to say anything because I thought you didn't like me that way, I didn't want to make things awkward between us, I like spending time with you—I like hearing you sing."

"You've heard me sing?"

"It was that day we saw each other in the music room—I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry but I couldn't help myself."

Hansol covered his face in embarrassment.

"Don't be ashamed, you have a beautiful voice." Joshua peeled his hands from his face. "Hey, look at me."

Hansol's eyes met with Joshua's.

"I love your voice," Joshua said.

Hansol felt his cheeks heat up. "Thank you, Joshua."

Hansol's attention fell to his hands, which were being held by Joshua's. Joshua was about to take his hands back but Hansol gave them a squeeze, letting Joshua know it was okay.

"I was scared to admit my feelings because I thought you wouldn't feel the same," Hansol admitted.

"Then it was all lack of communication," Joshua said.

But one thing was still bothering Hansol. "Joshua, I didn't want to ask but, we were doing so well these past few days, what happened at the party—what did I do—that made you hate me?"

Joshua suddenly looked uncomfortable. "As I'm sure you already know, you had a little too much to drink and…"

"God, did I hurt you?"

"N-no, kind of the opposite. You kissed me, a-and told me you liked me," Joshua said, cheeks slowly turning red.

Hansol smiled. "I tend to do some things when I'm drunk that I wouldn't do sober."

"You're not the only one," Joshua said.

"But what else—oh… _Amy_."

Joshua nodded.

"I'm really sorry about that Joshua, it was a stupid bet—she knew she was going to win so she took advantage of it, I never would have let her kiss me, I—"

"It's okay Hansol, now I know what happened."

"Joshua, can I kiss you?" It was out before he realized what he'd said.

Joshua's blush deepened. "Y-yeah."

As gently as he could, Hansol took Joshua's face in his hands and pressed a kiss to his lips.


	16. Moment of Truth

Hansol's lips were so soft and sweet, Joshua was afraid he'd become addicted to them. He was about to beg for more when Hansol pulled away.

"W-was that okay?" Hansol asked. "I've never kissed another guy before."

Joshua smiled. "It was great."

Hansol leaned his forehead against Joshua's. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Joshua snaked his hands around Hansol's neck. "Again?"

Hansol smiled. "Again, I guess…"

"But it was different than this," Joshua said.

"How so?"

Joshua blushed a bit. "It was more savage—desperate."

"Mmm… Like this?" Hansol wrapped his arms around Joshua and pulled him close abruptly and lowered his lips to Joshua's again.

The kiss was different than the first, faster, sloppier. Joshua could barely keep up.

He opened his mouth slightly for Hansol; Hansol didn't hesitate before slipping his tongue inside Joshua's mouth.

It didn't taste like alcohol this time, but it was still soft and warm.

They broke apart gasping for air.

They didn't say anything, only smiled at each other.

They turned at the sound of someone knocking on the door. "Is everything okay in there?" came Soonyoung's voice.

"Everything's great Hosh," Hansol replied.

"Great, can I come in?" Soonyoung asked.

"I'll get it," Joshua said, and went to open the door.

"Oooo," Soonyoung said when he saw Joshua's face, "so you two finally made up."

Joshua blushed. "We did."

"I don't want to go back to the room in case Jun and Minghao are still… _busy_ ," Soonyoung said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"It's fine, stay as long as you like," Joshua said. In truth, he wanted Soonyoung to leave so it could be him and Hansol again; he wanted to kiss him again, to taste him, to feel Hansol's soft lips on his again, but he was too modest to do it in front of Soonyoung.

"Hosh? is that a nickname?" Joshua asked.

"Hoshi—it's my nickname/stage name, it means star in Japanese," Soonyoung explained.

"Where's Chan?" Hansol asked.

"Talking to your sister, I think," Soonyoung replied.

There was an awkward silence where neither of them had a good conversation starter.

"Were you two in the middle of something? Did I interrupt you?" Soonyoung asked, breaking the silence.

Hansol and Joshua exchanged looks. "Not really…"

"Oh my God, were you two about to—I'm sorry—"

"No— _no_ , no," Hansol and Joshua both said.

"Oh, ok good."

"Why don't we go find Chan and go grab some dinner?" Hansol suggested.

Joshua and Soonyoung both nodded in agreement.

They found a small pizzeria in the hotel and split a pizza among themselves. Minghao and Jun joined in a while later, looking surprisingly _normal_.

Soonyoung, Chan, Joshua, and Hansol eyed them up and down for any sign of arousal or fatigue—and found none.

"What did you think we were doing?" Minghao asked.

"You fucking perverts," Jun said at their suggestive glances.

"We were watching a movie," Minghao said, "if we were going to fuck we would've at least gotten another room."

Jun elbowed him lightly. "You don't need to say it so bluntly."

Minghao shrugged. "It's easier that way."

"Moving on then..." Soonyoung said, breaking the silence that had settled. "There's still two slices of pizza left, if you guys want it."

Jun took a slice and almost swallowed it whole, Minghao passed.

"Let's go do something together," Chan suggested.

"Like what?" Jun asked around his second mouthful of pizza.

"I don't know, go to the game room, the gym, anything."

"I think Hansol and I will pass," Joshua said before any of them could reply.

So Hansol wasn't the only one eager to be alone again...

"Yeah, we're both kind of tired," Hansol said, not wanting any of them to get any ideas, which failed miserably because Soonyoung said, "Be safe and use protection, as they were getting up.

Hansol didn't know whether to blush or roll his eyes. Joshua went with the former, Hansol noticed.

"Told you you guys were perverts," Jun muttered.

Hansol took Joshua by the hand and they both walked up to their room, ignoring the whistles and "awww's" coming from the table as they walked away.

Hansol fumbled as he opened the door, getting distracted by Joshua's beauty.

God he was beautiful—gorgeous—an angel on earth, and now he was Hansol's, only his, he could stare at him all day if he wanted to.

Joshua giggled at his clumsiness. "Are we going in or do you want to stay out here?"

"Sorry," Hansol murmured and turned his attention to the door knob. He slid the key card and unlocked the door.

Hansol pulled Joshua inside and shut the door behind him.

"Where were we earlier?" Hansol said.

Hansol wrapped an arm around Joshua's waist and pulled him close, their lips meeting in a sweet and blissful kiss.

Joshua opened himself for Hansol, and Hansol slipped his tongue into Joshua's sweet and delicate mouth.

His hands slid down to Joshua's thighs—which were surprisingly hard—and picked him up, Joshua instantly complied and wrapped his legs around Hansol's waist.

"What have you been hiding under your little button ups?" Hansol asked; Joshua was surprisingly heavy for his tiny frame.

Joshua blushed slightly. Hansol loved making Joshua blush.

Hansol sat down on the bed with Joshua on his lap and continued to lazily kiss him. He could kiss Joshua for the rest of his life and it would never get boring.

They must've kissed for what felt like hours—or at least Hansol hoped it was hours—and ended up falling asleep in their clothes, clinging to each other.

Joshua woke up to the sound of someone knocking on their door the next morning. Hansol was still asleep behind him, his breath warm on Joshua's neck. Trying not to wake Hansol, he slithered out of his embrace and carefully as it could. He ached to get back in Hansol's embrace as soon as he sat up.

The knock came again and he went to open the door.

He opened a tiny crack to see who was knocking. His eyes burned from the bright light.

"Good morning," Soonyoung said quietly, considerate of his still half-asleep-state.

"Good morning," Joshua replied, voice hoarse.

"Did you two have fun?" Soonyoung asked.

Joshua smiled. "A little."

"Anyway, they just posted the results of the website and we were waiting for you guys so we could look at them together. We have another hour until we have to head to the convention center."

Joshua nodded. "Yeah, okay, give us like five minutes. We'll head to your room when we're done."

"Alrighty, we'll be waiting," Soonyoung said and waved goodbye before walking down the hall.

Joshua approached the bed carefully. "Hansol? Hansol we have to get up."

Hansol groaned. "No, get back in bed."

Joshua wanted to, badly, but he refrained.

"The guys are waiting for us to look at the results," Joshua said.

Hansol groaned again. "Let's just take a day off and sleep."

As much as Joshua wanted to, he knew they couldn't.

Joshua brushed a strand of hair from his face. _God Hansol was beautiful_. "Hansol, we have auditions to get to."

Hansol sighed and cracked his eyes open. "Good morning."

Joshua smiled. "Good morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Great," he replied.

Joshua sat at the edge of the bed as Hansol sat up. "Do you want coffee or something?"

Hansol shook his head. "Let's just go meet up with them and look at the results."

The five of them were sitting on Soonyoung and Chan's bed peering at the computer screen.

"Okay, here goes," Soonyoung said, and clicked on the link to the results.

"Just click _command F_ , the list is too long," Minghao urged.

"But that spoils the anticipation—"

"Just do it Soonyoung!"

Anticipation was getting the best out of Minghao.

"Fine, fine." Soonyoung hit the _command F_ keys on the keyboard and typed _Soonyoung_.

In the center of the screen, the Soonyoung's name was highlighted in yellow, following Minghao's, Jun's, and Chan's name and the number 23.7—their score.

The four of them let out a sigh of relief.

"Now Joshua," Hansol said.

"Type Jisoo," Joshua instructed. Soonyoung did, and again a name was highlighted in the center of the screen—followed by his score of 24.

Hansol gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Good job."

Joshua's cheeks reddened. "Now Hansol," he said, probably wanting to get the attention away from him.

Soonyoung typed Hansol into the search bar but nothing showed up.

"Try Vernon, that's my alias," Hansol said.

Soonyoung did, nothing came up.

Hansol's heart sank.

"Try Chwe or Choi," Joshua urged.

Soonyoung did, still nothing.

Hansol sat back.

"Oh, Hansol, I'm so sorry." Joshua threw his arms around him. At any other time he would've been ecstatic to have Joshua's arms around him, but all he could think about was his name not being on the list. The tears came without him meaning them to and he buried his face in Joshua's neck.

Joshua ran his hand through Hansol's hair soothingly. "It'll be okay, Hansol," Joshua said.


	17. A Chance

None of them said anything—what _could_ they have said?

He pried Joshua off of him and made for the exit. He wanted to be alone, he didn't want them to see him like this especially not Joshua.

He didn't think about where he was going, he just knew he had to leave.

"Hansol! Wait! Don't do this," came Joshua's voice from behind.

He started running.

"Hansol, please don't hide, don't shut yourself out. Please, I'm here for you."

Hansol slowed down but didn't turn around. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hansol, hey, look at me," came Joshua's soothing voice.

He kept his head down. He just couldn't bear to look Joshua in the eye.

Joshua cupped his cheeks and brought his head up. "Don't run away from me, I want to be with you—you don't have to suffer alone."

Hansol slowly brought his eyes up to meet Joshua's. "You don't have to worry about me."

"But I want to," Joshua said with an encouraging smile. "Hansol, your friends worry about you, they care about you, they want to see you happy."

Hansol knew that but he didn't want to burden other people with his problems.

Joshua wrapped his arms around Hansol and rubbed soothing circles into his back. "You're not alone Hansol. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it better, I promise." Hansol melted into Joshua's embrace and allowed himself to sob quietly onto Joshua's shoulder.

Joshua held onto him tightly and didn't let go until Hansol did. He'd begun to notice that Hansol liked physical contact, maybe it made him feel more grounded; whatever the reason was, Joshua was willing to hold onto him for however Hansol needed.

Joshua wiped away Hansol's tears with his thumbs. He couldn't bear to look at Hansol like this. "I'm going to fix this, okay?"

"Joshua, you don't have to do anything," Hansol said. He sounded so broken, it brought tears to Joshua's eyes.

"I can't stand to see you like this," he said, a tear rolling down his cheek "I don't want you to be upset anymore."

"Joshua—"

"No, I'm going to do something, and you can't tell me not to." Before Hansol could protest, Joshua took his hand and led him down the hall. He still wasn't sure what he was going to say to the director once he found her, but he'd come up with something.

The director was already waiting in the hotel lobby, even though it was another hour until call time.

"Director, I need to speak to you," Joshua said.

"How can I help you?" the director asked.

"Hansol and I have decided to do a duet." It was the first thing that came to him mind.

"You do?" She looked from Joshua to Hansol.

They both nodded.

"And why is that?"

"I realized that Hansol's voice was what was missing in my song." It wasn't a lie, not entirely; he loved Hansol's voice and it _would_ sound good if they sung together.

The director sighed. "Alright then, I'll put you two down for a duet. Are you ready to audition today?"

They shook their heads.

"I'll see about letting you two reschedule your audition for tomorrow. For now, just wait, I'll let you know what the board says."

"Thank you," Joshua said and began walking back to their room, Hansol by his side.

"Hansol, I'm really sorry," Joshua said once they were away from the lobby, "you don't have to do a duet with me if you don't want to, it was—"

Faster than Joshua could process, Hansol wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss.

"I'd love to sing with you," Hansol said against his lips.

Joshua was almost sure he was blushing.

Hansol kissed him again, and Joshua thought he'd never get sick of it, of the feeling of Hansol's lips on his, of the butterflies in his stomach, of his cheeks reddening.

"I'm sorry to kill the mood," Joshua said, "but we have an entire song to write and memorize."

"Maybe not an _entire_ song…"

"How's that?"

"I produced it a while ago when we were just starting off, but it didn't quite match our style so I kind of set it aside," Hansol said. They were back in their room, sitting on the bed, Hansol with his computer on his lap. "I wrote a few lyrics to go with it too."

"Let's hear it," Joshua said.

Hansol nodded and hit play.

It was different than anything he'd ever produced, but in Hansol's won opinion, it was his best work yet. The long hours he spent working on it had proven good results.

He watched Joshua's expression while he listened to it; it looked like he was liking it, or at least Hansol hoped he was.

He got his answer not long after.

"It's amazing," Joshua said immediately after the song ended.

"Thanks," Hansol said. "I think a few more lyrics and we'll be good to go."

"Yes! Definitely! Hansol, this song is perfect," Joshua said.

Hansol smiled shyly. "Thanks Joshua."

"You're welcome Hansol. Okay, now, let me see the lyrics you have so far," Joshua said.

Hansol nodded and pulled up a document on his computer.

Joshua scanned through it, mouthing the words as he went.

"I love it," he said, "this is beautiful Hansol, I had no idea your lyrics were so meaningful."

"I write what's in my heart," Hansol said.

"Well then your heart is beautiful." Joshua surprised him with a back hug, almost making him drop his laptop on the floor.

Hansol was the one blushing this time.

He closed his laptop and turned around to face Joshua. "Pinch me."

Joshua was confused. "What?"

"I think I'm dreaming, pinch me—wait, no no no, _don't_ pinch me. If this is a dream I want to enjoy it."

Joshua took Hansol's face in his hands. "It's not a dream." He planted a soft kiss to his lips. "It's all real."

They broke apart at the sound of a knock on the door.

"It's probably Soonyoung, just leave it," Hansol murmured and brought his lips back to Joshua's.

There was another knock, louder this time, followed by, "Hansol? Joshua? It's the director."

The scrambled apart at that.

"We're coming," Joshua said.

They exchanged looks and held themselves back from giggling. "We'll continue this later," Joshua said.

Hansol nodded and they both went up to the door.

"Would you like to come in?" Joshua asked politely.

"No thank you, I'll be quick. I spoke to the SCA board and they have agreed to let you skip today's auditions, in consideration of Joshua's high score—but don't go around telling anyone."

"Thank you, director," they both replied.

"No problem, oh, and Hansol, just so you know, your score was 20.8, only .2 point from making it."

The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Thank you, director."


	18. Our Voices

Joshua and Hansol spent all day brainstorming lyrics and putting their song together—they would've skipped dinner if it were not for Soonyoung and the others banging on their hotel door claiming to have food.

"So how's your song going?" Chan asked in between bites of sushi.

"Great," Joshua said. "Hansol had most of the song already done so there isn't much to do."

"That's good," Soonyoung said. "Can we hear what you have so far?"

Joshua and Hansol exchanged looks.

Hansol shrugged. "Yeah, sure." He set down his plate of kimchi on the table by the bed and reached for his laptop. He pulled up the file of the finished song and turned to Joshua. "Ready?"

Joshua nodded.

Hansol hit play.

He started first, singing, " _I see everybody's aura fading They can't see themselves without being anxious_..."

Joshua swayed to the music as he sang, the others soon followed, moving their heads from side to side.

They finished off the song together and smiled at each other. It had been their best run through yet.

The others began clapping and cheering furiously.

"That. Was. Fucking. Amazing," Soonyoung said.

Joshua and Hansol blushed lightly. "Thanks," they said at the same time.

"So what's it called?"

"We haven't decided yet," Hansol said.

"I think it should be—what was it?— _lockhet_?"

Joshua and Hansol chuckled at his mispronunciation.

" _Rocket_ ," Joshua corrected. "I like that. What do you think Hansol?"  
"I like it, it's part of the chorus anyway so it would make sense."

"Rocket it is then," Joshua said.

"You guys' score is going to be sky high," Jun said, "no pun intended."

"Thanks Jun," Joshua said.

"Anytime."

They all tossed away their food containers and squeezed onto one bed. They stayed quiet for a while, just staring at the ceiling.

Joshua sighed. There were a million things going through his head, _how would they do tomorrow_ , _would the judges like them_ , _were they going to get a high enough score_?

"Hey," Hansol whispered, "don't worry about it, we'll do great," he said, practically reading Joshua's mind.

"I know, I'm just a little nervous," Joshua replied.

Hansol laced their fingers together. "We'll make it, I have no doubt."

"Well," Soonyoung said, sitting up, "we should get going—you guys need to sleep. You two have a long day ahead tomorrow."

"Yes, _mom_ ," Hansol said.

Soonyoung chuckled. "I'm being serious, you two need to rest—your song is perfect."

"Says the one that stays up until 3 a.m. perfecting choreography," Minghao said.

"I don't do that," Soonyoung protested.

"Yeah, you do," Jun said.

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"We'll get enough rest," Joshua assured them. "Thanks for the food."

"No problem," Chan said.

They all got up and headed for the door.

"Minghao—hang on, I gotta ask you something," Hansol said, and rushed after Minghao.

"Yes?" Minghao said.

Hansol whispered something in his ear that Joshua couldn't make out.

Minghao nodded. "Yeah, I'll leave it in your room for you."

"Cool, thanks." Hansol joined Joshua back on the bed.

"What was that about?" Joshua asked.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," Hansol said. "Let's get ready for bed."

Joshua nodded and didn't ask any more questions.

Joshua woke up before the alarm went off but didn't have much choice in getting up; Hansol had both arms wrapped firmly around him, his chest flush against Joshua's back.

Joshua cherished the warmth and comfort, never wanting to lose it. Joshua had found love, and that was it—it was the only logical explanation to his feelings whenever he thought of or was with Hansol. He had found love and he never wanted to lose it, ever. The happiness he felt when he was with Hansol was inexplicable, incomparable to anything he'd ever felt.

He only hoped Hansol felt the same.

He believed—he _knew—_ he wasn't just a little high school fling, but sometimes he had doubts.

Reaching towards the bedside table he checked the time. Five minutes until the alarm went off. Joshua sighed and decided to close his eyes, even though five extra minutes of sleep wouldn't do much good.

Joshua woke up to soft pecks on his cheeks and lips. He cracked his eyes open and smiled at the sight that greeted him.

"Good morning," Hansol said.

"Good morning," Joshua whispered back, conscious of his morning breath. "You're already dressed, I see."

"You slept through the alarm and I decided to allow you a few more minutes of sleep," Hansol said matter-of-factly. "You still have 45 minutes to get ready, don't worry—oh and I ordered breakfast."

Joshua couldn't help but smile. "Thanks." What did he do to deserve Hansol?

Joshua and Hansol headed out early for their missed audition. They called an Uber and waited in the lobby until their car arrived.

Joshua noticed Hansol tapping his foot and fidgeting with his hands anxiously. He placed a hand on Hansol's thigh. "Hey, we'll be fine. They're gonna love us."

Hansol gave him a small, genuine, smile. "I know."

Joshua looked down at his phone to check on their ride. "Oh, they're here, come on."

Hansol took Joshua's extended hand and followed him outside. He shivered at the cold morning breeze. Joshua gave him a light peck on the cheek that sent warmth down his entire body.

They got in the car and confirmed the address with their driver.

Joshua and Hansol practically shared a seat given how tightly they were clinging to one another.

The drive was short; in less than 10 minutes they were being dropped off in the large convention center. There weren't many people around, a tremendous difference from the previous day.

A young-looking staff member approached them and bowed politely. "Are you Hong Jisoo and Chwe Hansol?"

"Yes," they both replied.

"Please follow me," she said.

They nodded and followed the young girl to a room on the second floor.

"The judges are waiting for you." The girl bowed and left.

Joshua pushed the door open and went in, Hansol right on his heels. He recognized one of the judges from his first audition. Hansol had gone pale and his hands were shaking.

"Everything okay?" Joshua whispered.

"The judge on the left was the one that cut me off," Hansol replied.

"This is your chance to prove to him what you can do," Joshua said, in hopes that it would make Hansol less anxious.

Hansol nodded.

Joshua handed a staff member their flash drive.

"Hong Jisoo and Chwe Hansol," the judge in the center began, "you've been given a very rare opportunity, make it worth it." He gave a small nod, cuing the staff to play the music.

Hansol started right on time and kept going at a perfect pace; it was as if singing made him calm down.

Joshua was sure he'd missed his cue but it wasn't noticeable. Every time he looked at Hansol he smiled; he looked so focused on his lines, yet he was so happy, it warmed Joshua's heart.

They bowed once they were done and waited to be dismissed.

"Please wait patiently, we'll decide your scores now," the judge said.

They nodded and waited anxiously.

The judges talked in hushed voices, Joshua couldn't make sense of anything they said, and their expressions gave nothing away. In the end they all nodded and straightened their papers. Joshua held on to Hansol's hand tightly, knowing he liked the comforting hold.

"I just want to say that your synchrony is incredible," the judge sitting on the right said, "I had loved your voice Jisoo, and it combined with Hansol's was perfect; you complement each other very well."

"Thank you," they both said.

"I agree, your singing and rapping go together so well," another judge said. They sounded genuine, not a hint of a _but_ about to follow.

"I think they've said everything," the third judge said, "you made it, you two are going to the final round. Your final score is 24.7"

They instantly bowed their thanks and turned to each other, embracing one another in a hug.

"We did it," Joshua whispered.

"We did," Hansol said.

"Thank you," Joshua repeated to the judges once him and Hansol let go of each other.

"Don't thank us, you did all of the hard work. You're dismissed, good luck."

They bowed and thanked the judges again then left.

Once the door had shut behind them they wrapped their arms around each other in a suffocating hug.

"I told you we'd make it," Joshua said.

"Ahh, I'm so happy," Hansol said. A small tear rolled down his cheek.

"Me too Hansol. I'm so glad we get to do this together. It's like I'm living a fantasy."

"If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up," Hansol said, looking into Joshua's eyes.

"You're not dreaming—I'll prove it." He moved his lips to Hansol's and kissed him.

"Too much PDA!" someone that sounded a lot like Seungcheol yelled from behind.

Joshua and Hansol broke apart and turned around.

" _Jeonghan_?"

" _Seungcheol_?"

"Hey you two," Jeonghan said, waving a hand.

"What are you two doing here?" Hansol asked.

"It's good to see you too Solie," Seungcheol said, giving Hansol a pat on the back.

"I mean, it's great to see you, but why are you guys here?"

Seungcheol shrugged. "We just felt like it."

"It's the day of the final audition before finals; we thought we'd stop by and cheer you on," Jeonghan said. "Everyone else came, they're all at the hotel."

"What about school?" Joshua asked.

Jeonghan shrugged. "Skipping once won't do any harm."


	19. Family Reunion

"When did you two happen?" Seungcheol asked.

"Like, two days ago," Hansol replied.

Seungcheol smacked Hansol while still keeping his focus on the road. "Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

Hansol shrugged, despite Seungcheol not being able to see him. "Just been busy I guess."

They stopped at a traffic light and Seungcheol turned to him. "Too busy to call your best friends?"

Hansol looked at his hands. "I'm sorry, I meant to call, or text, but…" he trailed off.

"But?"

" _But_ , I thought you guys wouldn't want to hear from me, maybe you'd think I was gloating."

"Hansol, don't think like that, hey, look at me." Hansol looked up. "We're really happy for you, we're not mad at you for not making it—maybe a little jealous, but just a little—we're happy for you."

Hansol smiled. "Thanks Cheol."

"Now, tell me, how did you two happen? Did you guys clear up the confusion?"

Hansol nodded. "Turns out Joshua liked me the whole time I liked him. We should've gotten together sooner—if I'd had the guts to ask him out."

"Everything happens for a reason, Hansol. Maybe it just wasn't meant to happen then but it was meant to happen now. You never know."

"I didn't know you could be so deep Cheol, what happened?" Hansol teased.

Seungcheol chuckled. "I got a boyfriend, that's what happened."

"So tell me," Jeonghan whispered in the back of the car, "since when are you two a thing?"

Joshua blushed at the thought of people thinking of them as a couple. "Like, yesterday?"

"Oh my God, really?"

Joshua nodded.

"Jisoo, I'm so happy for you!" Jeonghan threw his arms around Joshua, at least, as best as he could in the small backseat of Seungcheol's car.

"Thank you Jeonghan. I'm happy too," Joshua said.

"Great! As long as you're happy that's all that matters. I'm glad it all worked out between you two. I was tired of watching you drool over him." He said the last part a bit louder in hopes that Hansol would hear.

"Jeonghan!" Joshua said, slapping the other boy's thigh. Nonetheless, he couldn't keep himself from smiling.

Jeonghan chuckled. "Ouch, okay, sorry. But still, I really am glad that you two made up and got together."

"Thank you Jeonghan."

Jeonghan gave him a wink in return right as Seungcheol pulled into the hotel's parking garage.

Everyone who was gathered in the lobby waiting for the four of them instantly got up from their seats when they caught sight of Hansol and Joshua.

"Hey hey hey!" Mingyu said, wrapping his arms around the couple. "We heard you two are together now! Lit! We should throw a party when we get home and get super wasted—"

" _No_ ," they both immediately said at the same time.

"Ok, fine, no drinks this time," Mingyu said.

"How'd the audition go?" Soonyoung asked.

"We're going to finals!" Joshua exclaimed.

Everyone cheered.

"Congratulations Jisoo! We're so happy for the both of you!" Seungkwan said.

"Group hug!" Mingyu announced and everyone crowded around Joshua and Hansol, wrapping their arms around them.

A few seconds passed with them crushing each other in a thirteen-people group hug.

"Okay, okay, enough, we're suffocating," Hansol said.

Mingyu gave one last squeeze and let go, allowing room for Joshua and Hansol to breathe.

They all squeezed onto the couches in the lobby, every couple among them tightly clinging to their significant other.

"Ugh, so many couples…" Soonyoung muttered. "Go get a room," he said to Jeonghan and Seungcheol, who were getting too touchy for a public environment.

"Stop Seungcheol," Jeonghan snapped, slapping away the other's hands.

"Sorry, I just can't help it that my boyfriend is the most gorgeous person on this planet," Seungcheol said.

Jeonghan tried to suppress a blush. "Aw, stop it babe."

"I beg to differ," Hansol said, " _I_ think, _Joshua_ is the most gorgeous, and most adorable person on this planet."

Joshua was not as good as Jeonghan at hiding his blush. "Th-thanks Hansol."

Hansol smiled the most adorable smile that melted Joshua's insides and made him blush even more, he was sure of it.

"As I was saying, _too many couples_ ," Soonyoung said.

"You'll find someone someday Soonyoung," Jeonghan said.

Soonyoung sighed. "One day…"

" _Anyways_ ," Hansol began, "what are the plans for today? I mean, you guys are all here, we might as well do something altogether."

"Well, we still have an audition to get to in…1 hour," Minghao said, "why don't you and Joshua show them around the hotel then when we get back we'll all grab lunch?"

"Sounds good," Hansol said.

Joshua giggled as he watched all of their jaws drop in awe of the luxurious hotel.

"Woah, you guys are so lucky," Seokmin muttered, "you get pools _and_ a spa?"

"Pretty cool right?" Hansol said.

" _Extremely_ cool," Seungkwan said. "Thank God I remembered to bring my swimsuit."

"Me too," Seokmin said.

"You guys have fun," Joshua said, "the pool is all yours."

"Let's go get changed," Seungkwan said, "Soonyoung left the keys to their room."

Hansol and Joshua lagged a bit behind, the others too focused on the pool and spa to notice.

"I'm so happy that they're here," Joshua said, "they oddly make me feel calm."

"I know what you mean," Hansol said, "they make everything more _homey_. Even if that means acting like five-year-olds when it comes to going to the pool."

Joshua chuckled.

Hansol took Joshua's hand and kissed it. "I'm really glad we're together."

"Me too Hansol. I wish I hadn't been stupid and stubborn and just listened to you."

"Everything worked out in the end, maybe it just wasn't meant to happen until now." Hansol shrugged. "God, I sound like my mom…"

"You sound like Jeonghan," Joshua said.

They both laughed.

They walked down the hall in silence, hand in hand.

"I can't decide if this is the worst part or the best part of the competition," Hansol said as they neared their hotel room.

"Why would it be the worst?" Joshua asked.

Hansol shrugged. "I don't know, we've been through so much, it'd be so disappointing if we lost..."

Joshua gave his hand a squeeze. "I believe in us. Plus, _aim for the moon because even if you miss you'll be among the stars_ —we've come far enough, I wouldn't be upset if we didn't win."  
Hansol turned to Joshua and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I love your wise words."

Joshua reddened. "I don't know if I'll ever _not_ blush when you talk to me like that."

Hansol winked at him. "I wouldn't mind watching you blush every time I talked to you like that…"

"Hey!" Seokmin yelled down the hall, already in his swimsuit, "are you two coming or are you just going to stand there and stare at each other all day?"

"We're coming," Joshua yelled back.


	20. This Is It

Hansol's hands were shaking so bad he could barely button up his shirt. He'd never been this nervous before a performance, granted he'd never performed in front of the entire nation and tons of entertainment companies, but still, he thought he was going to suffocate.

He must've said it out loud because Joshua approached him and began fussing with his tie. "You're not going to suffocate, your tie's just too tight," he said.

Just with Joshua's presence he felt calmer. He smiled. "Thanks _babe_."

Joshua smiled at the nickname. "I could get used to that you know."

"Good then," Hansol said.

Joshua's smile somehow brightened, and his cheeks reddened. He finished tying Hansol's tie and planted a quick kiss on Hansol's lips before stepping away.

"How do I look?" Hansol asked.

" _Gorgeous_."

Hansol smiled. "So do you."

"Thanks," Joshua said.

There was a knock on their bedroom door. "You two almost ready?" Mingyu asked from the other side.

"We're coming," Hansol called.

"Alright, everyone's waiting in the lobby."

"Ok, we'll be there shortly," Hansol said.

"No rush," Mingyu called and they heard his footsteps as he headed down the hall.

"Ready?" Joshua asked.

Hansol nodded. "As ready as I'll every be."

"Hansol, even if we don't win…"

"No, Joshua, don't say that."

"I just want to say that, even if we don't win, I'm happy with where we got. I'm happy that we got here together." Joshua looked into his eyes. "I love you," he said.

Hansol took Joshua's hands in his. "I love you too."

The ones who weren't performing were seated somewhere in the audience inside the massive Seoul Institute of Arts Auditorium, while Hansol, Joshua, and the others anxiously awaited backstage. They'd found a corner for themselves and were quietly practicing their acts.

"Please be seated, the competition will begin in a few moments," a woman announced from the stage.

Joshua and Hansol were 14th on the que while Soonyoung and his group were 27th, so they still had a while to go.

The nerves only got worse as their turn got closer, to the point where Hansol had to take off his suit or else he would be soaking in sweat by the time they went up.

" _Hansol_ , we'll do great, stop worrying so much," Joshua said. He had gotten tired of saying it around the 6th or 7th time.

"I know, I know, I'm just nervous, I've never performed for national television. What if I mess up?" Hansol said.

"Dude, suck it up, Joshua looks calm enough for the both of you," Minghao said. In truth, Joshua was more nervous than Hansol looked but he knew how to keep up a calm façade—for Hansol's sake.

"Don't freak out," Dino said, "but you guys are going on next."

Hansol took a deep breath.

"You guys are going to do amazing don't worry," Jun said with a smile.

The music coming from the speakers faded to an end and clapping arose from the audience.

The lights faded, and Kim Yugyeom walked off the stage.

"Good job man," Minghao said, extending his hand towards Yugyeom.

"Thanks," Yugyeom said, accepting the handshake.

"Please welcome to the stage, Hong Jisoo and Chwe Hansol," the host called over the speakers.

"It's now or never Hansol," Joshua said.

Hansol took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

They interlaced their fingers and walked onto the stage together.

Joshua had never been on such a huge stage, and he figured neither had Hansol, but when he looked over to the other boy he looked calmer than Joshua had ever seen him. Joshua's own nerves were gone then; seeing Hansol calm and relaxed made Joshua calm and relaxed, and right then and there he _knew_ they would nail the performance.

The performance was a blur to him. One minute he was walking on stage, the next him and Joshua were bowing to the audience while they clapped. Sweat was rolling down his face and he was panting; he hoped it was all worth it.

"Did we do good?" he whispered to Joshua as they walked off stage.

" _Did we do good_? Hansol we did amazing!" Joshua exclaimed. He threw his arms around Hansol in an enormous hug, sweating and all. "We did amazing," he whispered in Hansol's ear.

Hansol smiled at that. "I love you," he whispered, "no matter what happens."

"No matter what," Joshua agreed.

The four guys waiting backstage all congratulated them, endlessly praising their performance.

"Nothing we've seen so far topped _that_ ," Jun said.

"Thanks guys," Joshua said.

"You guys are going to do amazing too," Hansol said. "Hwaiting!"

Joshua and Hansol headed outside to get away from the crowd and get some fresh air.

"We did it!" Hansol exclaimed and picked Joshua up by the waist.

"We did it!" Joshua repeated.

Soonyoung, Minghao, Jun, and Dino walked off the stage sweating and smiling, proud of their own performance. They joined Joshua and Hansol backstage and waited until the last performances.

"There will now be a twenty-minute intervention for the judges to decide the winners as well as for company agents to interact with the performers," the host said.

The performers were all ushered onto the stage with their respective groups.

Joshua and Hansol watched Yugyeom be approached by JYP himself and Hansol couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of jealousy.

It was only towards the end that they were approached by two men clad in black suits.

"Good evening boys, we represent Pledis Entertainment, a recently formed company and we are currently scouting trainees for a new K-pop group. If the two of you are interested, we would like you to join our company," one of the men said.

Joshua and Hansol were speechless, they had never expected to be offered a position so easily.

"We spoke to the gentlemen in group 27 and they recommended you two for vocals and rap, and I must admit I already had my eye on you two in the first place," the other man said.

"We'd love to!" Hansol blurted.

"Excellent, here's our card. Give us a call to schedule a meeting." The first man that had spoken extended a business card.

"W-wait," Joshua said before they could walk away, "w-we have some friends that rap and sing, do you think they could join the company as well?"

"The more the merrier," the second man said, "just bring them to the meeting and we'll hold auditions for them."

The two of them nodded and waved the men goodbye.

"There are five minutes remaining in the intervention, please begin finding your seats," the host said.

Joshua and Hansol were awarded third place with a score of 27.8 and received medals and a bouquet of flowers. After walking off the stage they were met with a massive group hug from their friends that almost crushed Joshua's beautiful flowers.

"We're so proud of you guys!" Jeonghan exclaimed.

"Way to go Hansol and Joshua!" Seungkwan added.

"We're really proud of you four two don't worry," Seokmin said, pulling Soonyoung into a hug.

"It's fine that we didn't win, we got scouted by a company," Minghao said.

"Sweet!" Seungcheol said.

"But don't worry," Hansol said, "we happened to mention that we had a few other talented friends."

"You didn't," Mingyu said.

Hansol nodded.

"You're the greatest friend I've ever had!" Mingyu said and enveloped Hansol in a bone-crushing hug.

 _2 Years Later_

They were all scattered around the practice room, huffing and puffing from exhaustion. They had been practicing for the at least 13 hours and it was well past one in the morning.

They wanted to get the dance perfect right down to the tinniest detail, it was their debut song after all. After two years of training, they were more than ready for their debut. The song was called Adore U written by Seungcheol (who had decided to go by S. Coups) and Jihoon (who had decided to go by Woozi), choreographed by Soonyoung (who had decided to go by Hoshi), and sung and rapped and danced by all of them.

Their comeback stage was in less than 12 hours but it felt like an eternity at this point.

Joshua and Hansol were cuddling in a corner, despite both of them being dripping sweat.

They were more in love as ever, sticking by each other during the good times and the bad throughout their training.

Joshua could not imagine a day without Hansol and Hansol could not imagine a day without Joshua. They had come to believe that everything that had happened to them had been fate.

"Nervous for tomorrow?" Joshua asked.

"Are you?" Hansol asked.

"No, because I know we'll be together," Joshua replied.

"Aw, I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
